Lived Experience Forum

[Lemonjuice]

I can't seem to shake this depression.  It's been a good month now that I have become obsessive about suiciding. The gp has told me to increase my meds but I can't do it.  He wanted me to go see him by today, but I didn't.  I don't want to suicide but I am not doing anything to stop it either.  Sometimes it feels like I am possessed, cause when someone suggests I do something to help myself, a part inside says no, we're not stopping this.  Kind of feels like I am in a car that's out of control or being controlled by someone in the back seat.  Not sure what to do.  Seeing a psychiatrist on the 21st, hopefully he will have some answers.  I'm going to get an assessment and diagnosis for DID, cause I am not entirely convinced I have it or if I have just talked myself into it.  

[Jynx]

Hi there @Lemonjuice,

Just wanted to let you know I'm concerned about your wellbeing, I'm glad you decided to reach out and that you're seeing a psychiatrist though. I am going to drop you an email soon, just to check in.

[Lemonjuice]

Just reading about the cashless welfare card...some sociopathic responses out there.  I'm so sick of it all.  It doesn't matter I suppose, I don't care anymore.  

[Owlunar]

It matters to me @Lemonjuice 

I know you are going through a really rough place - and things look incredibly bleak for you - and now you have SI becoming obsessive - that is really sad

I hear you though and how ever bad you feel - it''s better that you are here - you have a son I think - and imagine things from his point of view

Or maybe right now - you can't - but as a survivor of my son's suicide I can tell you it's never what other peoplel want - you are not the burden you feel yourself to be

You need to see your psychiatrist about your "disorder" - and to share your thoughts but I also understand you desire not to take more antidepressents - I agree - I have had it suggested in a small way that taking antidepressents while I am titrating down on pain medication would help - and I can't really see the sense in taking something like that would help me - so yes - I'm with you there

About this cashess welfare card - I am not completely dependent on the aged pension but I resent the possibililty that people might find themselves "highlighted" on such a way

Hold on Lemonjuice - I know things are really rough and have been for a long time - but I do care

Dec

[Lemonjuice]

@Owlunar  Thanks.