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In my family neither my Dad or I are really permitted to be angry, depressed, in pain, disappointed, etc. Well we have those feelings we just cant express them, or atleast often or for long. Its kinda at the permission of my Mum and/or sister. So, Im not really good at processing them or expressing them.
Being disappointed that my surgery was cancelled I was told "now you know how your sister feels". There are differences between what she was having and what I was having and Im not saying one was worse than the other but I know my sister would never be told thats how your brother feels.
My sister and Mum can have what ever emotions they want and the rest of it just have to wear it but Dad and I have to control it.
I am pulling back, Ive tapered the txting today, I have spent some time watching Prime at the moment and chatting here. I have a GP visit to sort some stuff out with all this. But after that Ill go back to doing little of consequence, I do have to pack a bag for surgery tomorrow but I have pushed most everything else onto Dad who is reluctantly doing it, and needs regular "encouragement"
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