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Looking after ourselves

ssarzen
Casual Contributor

Carer support for child with BPD/CPTSD

Hi Everyone.

 

My daughter  has PTSD and BPD mixed with depression/anxiety due to trauma of her mother's  death.

 

 

Now with my daughters conditions and her circling BPD makes having a life outside of her for me and even my partner non existent, and the counselling services she uses have basically said the usual "Is there anyone from your family that can watch her?" which is great, but she decides to have an incident every time this happens despite the fact we would be going for a few hours or even overnight.

 

Has anyone else been in this situation or know of any suggestions? Sadly this situation is affecting not just my partner and me, but my youngest daughter and my partners daughter who has ASD.

 

 

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Carer support for child with BPD/CPTSD

Hey @ssarzen Welcome to the SANE forums. It certainly sounds like a stressful situation to be in. I know how hard it is to reach out for support so thank you for being here. 

 

What sort of professional supports do you have? 

 

Popping a link to BPD Australia here 

 

Carer Gateway

 

Wishing you all the best

Re: Carer support for child with BPD/CPTSD

Hi @ssarzen 

Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE.

My heart goes out to your daughter and your family because this is a complex situation for all of you. I can't relate to your specific situation but I had a close family member that many years ago was going through an incredibly tough time and despite the best efforts of their professional team they lent of me a lot for emotional support. That was fine until I started to fall apart myself because it was too much for me to carry. Not only was I taking emotional care of my family member I had other people in my life to care about including young children. So whilst I can't relate exactly to what your family is going through it is a lot when someone we love requires so much care that it can really impact the family dynamic.

I can only imagine how traumatic losing a mother at a young age would be. Such a traumatic loss would no doubt leave an indelible impact on a young person. Do you think your daughter might have an incident every time you go for a few hours / over night due to a fear of being left without her other parent? 

It is such a hard situation for you all and I can understand how this situation might impact each member in its own way. I also can understand why it would be good for you to have a few hours downtime / overnight to recharge. Is there anyone in your daughter's life that she trusts and feels safe with outside your family that you also trust to be with her? 

I really wish all of you the best and hope you can find the answers you are seeking.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather 

Re: Carer support for child with BPD/CPTSD

Hi @Paperdaisy 

 

Firstly thanks for the links, I will definitely have a look.

 

As for support? currently she is going through the local area health mental healths service, and to be fair it took forever to find a decent psychologist as they had some shocking staff prior.

 

As for myself and my partner? We have our own psychologists as well with our own issues as well which makes it a little more complicated as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Carer support for child with BPD/CPTSD

Hi @FloatingFeather and thanks for the welcome and your kind words.

 

In regards to the question " Do you think your daughter might have an incident every time you go for a few hours / over night due to a fear of being left without her other parent?" I do agree this is one of the multitude of issues as I was working interstate for a few months and I believe that set her off a few times, also when i was away for work, to the point i begged my employer not to send me anywhere for work and thankfully they agreed, but with covid under control (in their words...) They are pushing for me to travel.

 

There are only a handful of people I can trust her with in the sense if she dissociates, but she also then decides to push back on that idea as well.

 

I should have added this whole situation has been going on for a while, I guess what makes it harder is making everyone happy while trying to not scream and shout. 

 

 

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