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Looking after ourselves

ClockFace
Senior Contributor

How the afternoon went its an odd read

So some time to myself. For the first little while I just felt like crying mainly, like heres a minute, you've stopped and I just wanted to cry. I didnt hold it back but it didnt happen either. Its not built into me anymore.
 
A few hours on and I was feeling much calmer, no drugs needed, though Im so tired that Im walking a bit off. Then comes the dread, in the pit of my stomach whats the fall out going to be. Mums gonna be mad that I sent her to ER, or that the kitchen is a mess (I did no further cleaning while she was in ER), or I didnt get the little dog out for a play.
 
The tiredness is really starting to get to me. Theres no point going to bed early, I just have repeating visions of my sister. I cant anyhow cause i have to wait until Mum gets home (that may not happen), I got to pack a bag for my sister for my Dad to drop off, I should do something about my surgery tomorrow and I have been trying for at least 4 days to upload some reciepts to my health fund.
 
I dont remember if I mentioned earlier I did see my GP, she did the referrrals though I thought for a moment she was going make me do a referral for the Urologist before the Psychiatrist. Given In seeing her pretty soon anyhow she agreed with what I wanted, but made it very clear we need to do it next time as my issue really needed me to see the Urologist.
 
I am pretty sick of seeing more and more specialists. I mean I have to see a new Urologist, still got bladder cancer just a new Urologist with potentially a whole new problem. I have to see my Cardiologist, Ive been seeing him for years because of Mums condition and it being hereditary. Now for something new I have to get checked for Heart Disease (which my Dad has) and now Im back seeing a psychiatrist. This all on top of the specialists and doctors I see ready. Kinda feeling the weight of it this afternoon. Doesnt help that my back is sorer than normal (Thunderstorm on the way). So for the HOPEFULLY last day of pain its worse than normal.
 
I video called my sister to organise this bag but internet is too bad for her to video chat. There was a carry on over a dressing gown and if it was clean or not, It was but that took some convincing. Im now waiting for a list to be sent, in the mean time Ive been able load 8 claims with my provider (and type this) so now to look into my surgery. Ive read everything already but remember basically none of it.
 
So thats all done. Im just waiting for news on Mum before I take my meds and go to bed. Im really tired, walking wonky tired.
1 REPLY 1

Re: How the afternoon went its an odd read

Thinking of you. Hope things are okay.

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