Lived Experience Forum

[RG01]

You know when you're feeling a little precious and then something truly disappointing happens ...? And it's like a thick smog engulfs your brain,,,. What's with that? How do you cope with it? How do you switch over? It's so annoying! Especially cos I can see what's happening- I don't like letting little things dictate my moods... But actually stopping it is another story, Maaan I do feel frustration

[pip]

Dear RG01. I can really relate to what you're saying. I thought I had it made too. I met someone in May this year, really believed we had something. We've been emailing, he lives interstate. I was up in the clouds. Suddenly, whammo, it's over. I figured no matter where you live, if it's real, something can be sorted. He told his family about me, he had asked for my photo, he sent a selfie, then one of his brother, his son and DIL. When I posted my photo, he said it was as he remembered me, beautiful. I wouldn't have said that about me, never believed it. Suddenly, no warning, he's changed his mind. I don't think there's anyone else, I get the feeling he's scared to commit. He's been alone for over 12 years and got into a routine of sleep, eat, look after his dog, more sleep, bed early. He isn't exactly living, just existing. I finally pulled the pin, I feel so hurt, confused, puzzled etc. Haven't heard from him since, keep hoping, praying he will contact. Everything in me says, let him go, forget, but how. All I know is I love him and for some reason, he stopped caring. He told me he cared, even said he loved me. Guess I'll never understand men. If anyone understands them, please enlighten us women.

[utopia]

Hi @RG01. I can understand what you mean. Traveling along - doing ok - & then something outside your control happens & boom - your mood flattens.
Does it need to affect you? Is it really that important? Can you try and ignore it?
I guess it depends on what 'it', is.
If you write it down, will it make sense as to why you have reacted the way you have? Are you reacting the way you are because that is how you were shown to react - is it how your parent/s reacted?

[NikNik]

Hi @RG01

I think I know what you mean. Do you think that if you were in a different headspace that this event wouldn't have impacted you so much?

The way I describe it is feeling fragile - and there's nothing wrong with that. Actually, the fact that you are aware something has flattened your mood is really powerful!

How are you travelling now?

[Former-Member]

Hi @RG01, 

I think that this post was perfect timing for me today. I've had a few really good days for my standards and then this morning it is seeming to did integrate before my eyes. After reading all the posts on this thread I came to the conclusion in that it isn't just the small thing but rather what previously what has happened to lower our guard. Today I started getting wound up because I realised I left my phone charger in hospital and my son had not given me the form he needed for his football photos which creates more work for me. I went to red then just as quickly went to hopeless, quickly feeling the cloud close in. Brain gone, emotions in control 😔  I think if if I'm honest though it was more about lack of sleep and quality of the sleep I'd had and being frustrated that I'd sugar loaded last night and was disappointed in myself for that. I thank you for your post because it's helped me to get some control back, unfortunately brain still foggy and feeling tired but not feeling so heightened (depressed) about the small things. Not sure if this helps you, maybe yours is different. 

[Ceebubbles]

Hi all, negative cycles are so tough! Iam trying the last 12 months to get the people out of my life that take more than they give, in emotions time and overall support. Its a process but find myself constantly back in negative patterns and takes energy to redirect my thinking and try and do proactive thingsto get out of cycles. I know one day it will pay off but currently the light at end of tunnel is overwhelmingly dark. I guess its choosing best of one moment at a time. And choosing that only my actions can be changed in any given situation. I completely get it sometimes feels easier to become engulfed in the angry, fight or submissive flight just to get through this moment. Just horrible picking up the pieces each time not knowing if this will be the time is stays better. At the moment feels like life is more of constant circles than a journey. Sorry not sure if this helps anyone just nice to know we are not as alone as we may be feeling right now. Warm thoughts to you all

[RG01]

Hey hey I totally get you! I too am trying to quash any negative influences in my life. I'm not trying to eliminate/remove - cos some ppl are like that and can't change themselves but it might also be too harsh a process to cut them off. I guess I'm putting up an internal particition that's restricted access passed a certain point. 🙂 I havnt mastered this process YET.... I feel like I often wear my emotional well being on my shirt and wow that annoys me. That someone else's action or mood can have an influence over mine.... CRAZY - it's so goto stop.
Trying to be positive and achieve things in life always helps and I think that's a key point- when you have a goal/purpose/responsibility for the day and you're working up that- I think that works wonders with helping to rebuttal the emotional mishmash caused by others

[RG01]

Yes, it's the same..... One thing I'm really noticing is just how many of us do experience extremely similar if not THE SAME - issues and reactions in life. Of course we wouldn't with dodgy feelings on anyone but it sure is nice to know you're not alone. I always find this helpful- before a perceived problem/feeling/set of circumstances- SNOW BALLs- can you possibly take a step back from it- (make a cuppa or something)it's not as big as life ... It's NOT as BIG as life. Now break down and dissect into chewable pieces... Is it in control? What's the results or outcomes? What's WORSTE case scenario. Sometime we just need to get a grip and deal with the situation for what it is. It's not worth getting wound up over. LET IT GO LET IT GO (sing that stupid song pls)
You're more capable and equipped then you know! 🙂

[RG01]

Love/emotions are a completely different story.... Oh I'm so sorry you have to feel that and go through this crapness! Ppl are funny and you Gota feel sorry cos that doesn't sound like much of a life he's living, and if he's too scared to move away from it ... Then sad for him. What about you? Sad you had to get emotionally caught up and give of yourself in this way. BUUUUT RELIEF- cos you deserve better things. YOU need to enjoy life, achieve and accomplish your own goals and meet ppl who fit in with this and have like minds and attitudes. We can't change or fix all the broken ppl in the world. Find one who's got different broken parts to yourself and that you can compliment each other ;))) that's what I think.no ones perfect but that's not an excuse for the ones that are really skew if.

[RG01]

I thing being fragile sums it nicely... I'm doing ok. I have a pressing issue to deal with that may take time and it's toll... The fact is I know it's effect deeply could be so damaging. Today I'm struggling to get going in myself. I'm thinking of the things that need doing.... And what I seemingly can't achieve. When I know I just need to step away and break things down... Why is it. Can easily see other ppls solutions but find it very hard to fix my own? I'm just human.... One mere mortal human