Oh yeah… I’ve told them that it’s too much @tyme maybe you were away or missed it. But I arrived at group and was bombarded with questions about what we were doing and I was so overwhelmed. Thankfully the manager/my old SW was there. We chatted. I’m happy to help. Happy to lead when I have an idea. But it’s not my group. Did you hear that they even named it ‘bows art and craft group’ on the weekly schedule? I flipped inside. Anxiety sky high. The pressure. I told them no. They keep asking. Keep reminding. Pressuring. Do you have ideas? Tell us when you want to run it. Sigh
my next project at home is some furniture upcycling. We got a round extendable table and 6 chairs off marketplace. Gonna strip it back and paint. And then a tv unit too. Oh and a coffee table. That should keep me busy for a while!
I know they value my input and all that stuff, but it’s all too much. It’s a lot of responsibility. And while I love to give back, and I love to serve (almost everything I find myself involved in, I somehow end up serving and leading) im really not in a place to do that at the moment. I need to be there for me - that sounds selfish I know. But yeah. @tyme
No no, they used my real name ….. I just wrote bow to show you what they called it.
when my SW showed me what they called it, I was heaps hesitant. I said I wasn’t sure cause I don’t always have something to do every week and I don’t want that responsibility. She said thats was fine and I didn’t need to have something every week. But then the next time I went to group and there was everyone asking what we were doing and all the pressure and overwhelm, I chatted with my old SW and told her what I thought and she changed it straight away.
I think you articulate yourself really well here... perhaps this isn't you? What if your ability to communicate directly correlates with how comfortable or safe an environment helps you to feel? @Bow💛
Ugh, that's so frustrating... I can hear why this would be such a barrier for you. What comes up for you when you consider having to call?
Yes, I struggle with that step too. The compassion and nurturing can be gradual... it can be a slow soften. Maybe an affirmation to start?
I understand that! Slowing down the mind is hard. I would actually recommend listening to the audio like it's a podcast and just let the information sit with you. You could even do it whilst you are doing laundry or dishes - that way it can be mindful but not a traditional meditation session? I hope that makes sense! But completely up to you, of course.
What do you picture first when you think of 'safe'?
There's a lot of questions here, so no pressure to answer straight away. 💕
Sitting in a box it’s small and it’s dark I can feel all the sides as I sit in the corner on my own it’s safe no one can’t come in and I can’t get out no one would want to anyways it’s rather boring in here but it’s safe and it’s predictable I was never heard nor seen forgotten about and always alone a nuisance and a burden that’s why I’m here that’s why I climbed in no one will notice no one will remember no one will care anyways the lid shut tight the sides reinforced locked away forever
