Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Jacques]

hi my dear friend,

You are missing one person in this conversation... YOU you play an important roll in her daily care and independance, you have a lot on your plate, with Mr Shaz and your children and grandchildren, you are a super mum and wife, but even super heros can't do everything.

it is a really difficult thing when our family members don't realise they need more acute care, i know she wants to be independant, and there are many nursing homes where she can be very independant, they are not what they used to be, i know the one in my town, they go out when they want, they do what they want, they socialise with whom they want. the only difference from that to the home is you have your daily meals. cleaning and care 24/7.

gentle hugs my friend, your heart must be so broken not knowing what is best for your mum and you. i just hope your mum sees how much love and care you have for her and you only want the best for her

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51 

atm I don't think it's a question of what your mother wants - it's rather how much more "WORK" you can really do and still be there for you Mum emotionally

So - if it was me - which it never was for my parents - I would imagine that the suggestions about what your mother NEEDS is important - and then you can fill in the edges about what your mother WANTS - which would be better - if a lot of the heavy stuff was taken off your shoulders

I am glad you are getting so much support from the forum - people are saying similar things - this is a really hard time for you - I guess it always is with independent people - I think my daughter might have to deal with an independent mother as well but then - I accept all the domestic, assisted shopping and social visits I have in place

Thinking of your Shaz

Dec

[Shaz51]

ohhhhhh @Owlunar , @Jacques , @Appleblossom , @greenpea , @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @outlander , @Adge , @Faith-and-Hope 

ohhhh I do not like unexpectanted phone calls -- today was a referral for mum to see and go to a memory clinic

[Owlunar]

Ah @Shaz51 

Do not despair - this might turn out to be a really good thing

Do you think your mother is forgetting things?

My Dad lost his short-term memory in the last years of his life - it was awkward for those who had to deal with him but I didn't worry myself as enough people were worried 

I just enjoyed Dad and reminded him of the things he enjoyed in his past - and his long-term memory was intact

Maybe this will work out well - I hope so

Dec

[Shaz51]

ohhh @Owlunar 

they rang mum up and she cancelled the memory clinic appt

and then they rang me after

[Owlunar]

Oh @Shaz51 

Oh dear

What to do - what to do - aw ShazDec

[Shaz51]

been raining here soo much all day @Former-Member 

no work today

I cleaned mum`s house

the Nurse , the physio and meals on wheels came today

everything back on track again for the team except for the memory clinic which I am leaving until later

and now I am sure I have a sprained ankle

hello @Owlunar , @Jacques , @Appleblossom , @greenpea , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope 

[greenpea]

@Shaz51  hugs and hugs Shaz51. Have you got an ice pack in the fridge? and elevate xxx

[Shaz51]

thanks my super @greenpea , I did that earlier , will do it again

how was your walk xoxo

[Owlunar]

yes @Shaz51  - that's a sprained ankle

Sorry about that 

Dec