@EternalFlower if you are free falling keep checking in here for support. It must be very difficult readjusting without a discharge plan. Just remember we are here and can help you find solutions and make a bit of a plan too if your team have let you down. There's a lot of wisdom to be found in the minds here, @tonys@Paperdaisy@hanami@Appleblossom
The chat counsellors can help you find your way too.
@EternalFlower just checking in. Hoping that radio silence doesn't mean you're in even worse shape. Reach out if you can but if not just know that we're here when you need us.
It was all a bit much yesterday, ive been running aeound a lot and not finding time to breathe. Thinfs feel eternal. Hard and bad. I keep thinking ahout protective factors. They use that language in hospital when they write ur notes.
Patient x is anxious and whatever
Protective factors (things we hope are keeping them safe) are they have a dog they worry about, their housemates, a therapist they trust and are intelligent...i dont know the exact rules of what can be written in that space but it tends to be comments about resources and attributes you have. I honestly dont have any.
It opens up the concept a little rather than reducing life's issues to management for liability which is part of the problem I see with the MH services.
@EternalFlower Just a quickie in break from group but these nurses didn't take good care of you and the hospital was terrible so I think you should just throw their note taking tips in the bin. Easier said than done I know. Hang in there eternal, try to let go of some of your self doubt and do something that empowers you, because you're strong, smart, insightful and amazing and you'll get through this. Chuck on some lizzo, she strong as all hell and so are you.
I sense that you have many beautiful qualities and they have become entrenched in a system world.
Forget their language.
Internal jargon I call it. Every organisation has it.
Most comes from text books relating to their role. Some outdated. Some ridiculous. Some helpful.
Use your language. You know better than anyone else what is best for you.
Remember liking words?
Find your own and use them. Sneak them in. Trust yourself and be proud. Smile when you say them.
The hard part is believing in yourself.
You are doing the hard work as you have said.
The average person does not think about that. They are too busy about practising their internal jargon ready to respond not even hearing what you are saying sometimes.
Doctors are there to identify, diagnose, prescribe, refer when beyond their level of expertise, check in.
Some who are very good actually listen to us and genuinely do want to help but they study a far broader range of medical terminology and are there as first point of call.
They are often overstretched and do mess up as a result.
Your doctor definitely sounded good from the start. I still wonder if his intentions are good. Perhaps he has taken on too much in trying to help you and needs to know when to refer you on.
This is where there are many gaps in the medical system and the mental health system.
Insufficient training and knowledge. Plus time....valuable time...
He might still be good to hang onto as he was open to you being honest with him. Keeping that connection up based on honesty might serve you both well.
I was so proud of you when you wrote about recognising the need to rest.
That is very hard to do, especially if your mind is itching to get a move on.
I know this only too well myself. Racehorse they call me.
Regenerate some of your energy to revitalise your body and mind.
Breathe, observe and listen.
Reconnect slowly with the real world.
Find yourself
Then look at courses..
some are good.
I have done the ACT course and have his book.
Very full on and you do need energy.
You have much advice ..
I hope that something that I have said has helped even if only a few words and not further added to your load..
If this is the case ...
read on and ignore..
I want for you to be the better you that you have become and for you to find yourself, be proud of yourself and then go from there.
I am not trying to outdo anyone else offering advice.
Management for liability @Appleblossom thats really incredible as a summary. Ive been reading Simon Katterls website who u put me onto. How are u? I hope ur ok as well.
@EternalFlower I am actually doing alright atm and so is my son. I am going to do music with friends this evening. Think I can actually say they are becoming friends which is really lovely and surprising. I was wary for a while. They respect my musicality.
I did not mean to be so terse or cynical. It gets to me, and can slip out at times. Been watching that behaviour (management of liability rather than therapeutic) for decades now.
All I can do is hold out hope that you find and cultivate a path according to your values ... It is hard on your own without family support, but somehow I feel there is strength in you even if you are not feeling it....
