The nurses have been good over the last bit, there are a few i dislike and sometimes i get assigned one of those and it is impossible to connect. But some im very connected to.
I saw my dr on friday. I have sh scars on my body and have anxiety about them and he showed me his two scars on his arm.
I feel like i want to go home soon, and hope i will, and am processing my stay and things i noticed and learned, this that worked, didnt work...
I have been able to seperate from the residents and not get involved. I am too fragile.
I had a nice interaction with someone and then the next day he was rude to me and it hurt and i just find sometimes people change here or suddenly act warm or distant and im too fragile for that.
I am not sure if im progressing too much here but im safe and ok in the moment. Thank you for being here for me.❤️🌄❣️
I cannot tell you to stop feeling anxiety about your scars as I have not been through that.
My heart tells me that they represent your pain. Can you just yourself see them as your survival? That might not help. I only feel your strength in not giving up.
Perhaps seeing them reminds you of your pain and that is triggering anxiety.
Your doctor showing you his scars is brave of him in his position. He is making a brave statement to you. Telling you that he has his own pain and can empathise. He is supporting you not turning away. Do you feel safer with him?
You are getting through one day at a time. what are you reading at the moment?
I am reading After You.
Hoping that you have some sleep and rest tonight
speak soon
❤️🧚♂️🌺
Don’t concern yourself about other patients that is the staff job.
I agree that hospital friendships are very risky. I have some friends from long-term stays in hospital, but we have to be very, very, careful with each other when we're not well. Really strong boundaries, we don't seek MH support from each other because we all have too much on our plates already. When we need support we rely on other people/things that help us so we don't drag each other down or overwhelm each other. You have to have strong boundaries and an understanding from the get go, or else it's a complete disaster. Took us a while to get it right.
What's your hospital like? Do you know how long you'll be in?
Thinking of you and hope that you will be out of hospital soon. I have sh scars on my arms too. Wish I had never done it or at least done it somewhere not obvious. Oh well, you live and learn. I have moved past that now. Haven’t done it in many years but I sometimes still get that urge. Come look for us over on my thread. We will welcome you with open arms.
All your friends are over there with me and we have a little imaginary town. It’s quite fun. Hoping to see you there really soon dear Eternal Flower 🌸
Your experience seeking help and finding the people were in different roles and maybe not even able to see or hear where you were at it, it must have been very disheartening and im sorry to hear that happened. Leaving is always a good choice too, i was really proud when i self discharged last time. I felt like it took blame from myself...
"Why cant i make this work, ive failed so badly at settling in and am not able to take care of myself and make this work..."
Became just..."this isnt for me now and I'm allowed to leave." And to see too that no one held it against me. Was big.
Hospital here is....well...the conditions are not excellent but there are some nice communal parts. The food is not terrible. There is a section for young people and its weirdly social.
The nurses are almost all good...i dont like one who has a mean school girl vibe but maybe she just triggers my being bullied in school for a few years at a private school.
Its very loud because people scream. I have a cubicle sort of. My dr is sort of a ledgebd of the hospital. Hes nice and not arrogant. He talks to me like im his equal.
I cant believe he showed me his scars!!
I am massaging dermaveen into my scars and the self care is nice.
Knowing that you are ready to leave is a step forward.
You have worked hard throughout these stays and your words tell me that your doctor knows that. He is proud of you as well as feeling that he has helped..why he does his work as a Dr.. not easy in the public system for them either..
Rest whilst still there an initially when you return home..
Life is waiting for you
Your friends here are supporting you..
We hope to share time enjoying your company more once you return home and are rested
I am so &$+#/;$* proud of you @EternalFlower, (I am struggling in the forums without my affectionate swearing! And proud probably comes off as patronising I don't mean it that way) you just keep getting stronger and stronger. I'm so glad your doctor is such a legend and you feel supported with him. Sounds like a keeper 😁
I'm with @tonys, I've learned to own my sh scars, they're battle scars from hardships I have endured and come through. I can very much understand anxiety about them though, I tried to hide mine for a long time. They might remind you of dark times now but when you're well you may learn to look at them with less anxiety. I do.
Things are starting to look up for me, might be home in a week or two!
Thinking of you and wondering how you are doing? I hope that you are feeling stronger every day! Just take things slowly and carefully as @Sophia1 suggests.
I look at my SH scars and see someone who is strong and has survived a lot. SH scars just show that you have felt much pain in your life. Try not to be ashamed at that.
How are your artistic endeavours in hospital going? I do a lot of colouring in when I am in hospital. That may sound stupid and childish but it fills in the time.
