Lived Experience Forum

[HotSalsa]

Hi guys , not sure if I picked the right forum .. been struggling and wondering if anyone wants to chat ? Or if I could unload a bit and if anybody has shared experience 

[Ktgirl]

Hi

I am new to the forum too. I experience depression and I have cPTSD. Today has been disappointing.  I got the kids ready for school, dropped them at the bus stop, and thought I'd come home to start work in my home office.

Instead I felt absolutely exhausted. Went to sleep for 5 hours even though I had 8 hours sleep the night before. Woke up feeling self loathing and anger, not because of sleeping, but because these are deep pervasive feelings I have had in the years since leaving the situation that caused the disorder.

This is so frustrating! I have no motivation. 

How does your Ptsd affect you in your life? What do you do to cope with depression?

I am here to share and provide/get inspiration from others. 

Somedays I feel like I am in a living nightmare because of the effects of the disorder. 

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey @Ktgirl!

First off: Welcome to the Forums 🙂

I am so glad you are here. 

Experiencing cPTSD is something that can feel so lonely. I can really relate to that sense of frustration. Often it can feel like "it was years ago, WHY are these responses/thoughts still so pervasive in my life??". 

For me, what I have found the most helpful has been:

- Finding a psychologist who specialised in my specific trauma experience. I found it really validating to know just how common some of my responses were

- Having this psych work with me to gain a sense of compassion and empathy for myself. Constantly being angry with myself for not being "normal" was not working!

- Having ways to immediately create a sense of safety/feeling grounded. This can be a lot of thing, such as deep breathing, a certain smell or touch, a mantra such as "In this moment, I am safe"

Out of all of those things, self-compassion has been the biggest challenge and work-in-progress. 

There are a lot of us here that have cPTSD and I hope others can chime in with their own words of wisdom

You sound like a very brave and hard-working mum 💛 

[Ktgirl]

@Peregrinefalcon Thankyou for your kind words and compassion.

I believe that there is a certain greiving process that needs to occur with releasing trauma. The other day I was certainly feeling anger (I am a pretty peaceful being so this brought up more emotions as I wondered 'How can I feel so much anger?')

What you wrote about having self compassion really resignated with me. To a degree, it is easy to blame one's self for the situation that caused the trauma, and then blame one's self for reliving the trauma and not being as you once were and just getting on with life. 

It is good to be on a healing journey and to recognise that we are all moving forward. Best