Lived Experience Forum

[MoonGal]

After 15 years my excellent GP has decided to move to new life challenges. She was amazing, really cared for me as a person and listened well to me. She told me 6 months out earlier in the year that she was leaving to give me time to manage my emotions around it. She even did a full handover to my new GP so she was fully up to speed with my myriad mental and physical health issues. I was so nervous seeing the new Doctor for the first time and I wanted her to know I was nervous but open to her... I said (but this came out wrong) "I have decided to give you the benefit of the doubt." (At which we both laughed atthe inadvertant slap).

Anyways - I saw her three times for my regular monthly appointments and today she told me she was moving on having had another exciting career offer.

I went from quite bright and bubbly to devestated and crying in a nano-second. i could see the shock on her face. I am to be 'handed over" to another doctor (female) in the practice. My partner has attended an appointment with this other doctor and says she is really nice.

But I feel rocked to the core - Change and Trust are two core issues for me. 

I was feeling so good and relaxed and happy for the first time in such a long time. I know this is just an emotional blip - but I could see how shocked she was by the utter change in me. Doctors need to understand how much trust we put in them and how much we fear trusting someone with all our deeply personal information.

Anyways, fingers crossed, the new Gal will be good and STAY around. 

[Former-Member]

Yes they do @MoonGal. It's such a tricky relationship. It was good to read you were travelling ok. I hope this is just a blip and that the new one is just as good and yes hang around for a decade or more 💜🤗

i just did the 'rocked to the core' over my phams support worker leaving after we'd just established a great relationship and she 'got' me.  Thems the breaks

[MoonGal]

Thanks @Former-Member the rocked to the core thing may seem an overreaction to anyone who is not us. 💜 Hope your new Phams worker turns out okay. 

And yes I am travelling well - really - not just "hypo-well". Just finally coming out of 5 years of hell I think. Sorting out the deep scars of my relationship with my Mum was hard yards but done and finally feel that I am moving on. 

Hello sister-friends. If seasonal get togethers are upon you I wish you all calm., strength and solidity in Self.

[Shaz51]

Hello sister-friend @MoonGal

Have been thinking of you today and I found you

sending you hugs

[Former-Member]

hello @MoonGal

sadly this happens alot even more so in the country.

[MoonGal]

@Former-Member - I am sure rural is VERY hard place to live with an MI and complex medical problems. With young new doctors having to do rural stints before moving on to their own practices. 

If anyone in Govenrment cared (and I am pretty sure they don;t) we would have complex care teams in every town. 😞

I am sorry If my little blip here in the city seems OTT when this is happeneing for my country-based peers every other day. 😞

GOOD NEWS some of you will recall I have been studying Creative Writing course by an online Universiry (USA) and I had done the first two specialisations using their financial aid applications (so free of charge) I still had three specialisation modules to do - and they pulled finanical aid on me! I wrote to them several times and they have agreed to the next module free-of-charge. I am ecstatc! I am now 5 days behind the start day but will work extra hard to catch up! Craft of Style is the subject. I studied Craft of Plot and Craft of Character so far. 🙂 I am LOVING it -

I have been free-falling spinny catherine-wheel-blue-up-down since becomeing so disabled. in 2011.
Now I feel I have something to "live" for. ❤️

[Appleblossom]

Great about free of charge course

Can unerstan you loving that stuff

Next year might o similar .. but trying to set proper support first .. if I keep being tol .. there is support .. then I shoul get some.

Yep I have een devastate by doctor changes .. an many others .. too .. its important .. that people dont assume there is continuity of care when .. it is in fact .. iquite unstable ... promotions and more money is a big lure 

its the commodification of empathy

[MoonGal]

@Appleblossom - I hope you can find the support structures you ned to be able to attend to a course, our intellects suffer, labouring under both/either/or mental ill heath and medications. I am at my best after 11pm for lectures, and after 3pm for creative work. 

On Friday's we have Fish and Chips, nothing to d with Catholocism, more to do with a weekly treat. We live near a very busy and well known fish and chip shop - so we go down and order it at 11 am (paying for it) for a 7,30 pick up. Yesterday I started my Style class and my partner went for a long nap (she is on Christams holidays) at about 4pm. She came tearing out of the bedroom and said 'It's 20 past 7!" I had been SO engaged mentally and creatively I had timewarped though  3 hours as I wrote a creative assignment. I can reccomend it for all sorts of reasons one of them being - having this renewed sense of self.

You said "its the commodification of empathy" indeed that is a powerful statement. 

@Shaz51 - Waves to you too! 

[Appleblossom]

Hi @MoonGal

Thsnk for your lovely message .. yes maybe one day .. I will do formal study again .. not yet tho

I had a tough night tonigh .. but a girlfriend irl asked if she could use that statement too - which was lovely acknowledgement.

Groups are hard work .. I hit it off with some . but others really hate me.

[Chris]

Hi moongal

I am going through simular at the moment.  My psychiatrist  of four years has just moved interstate. I only had five weeks notice. Its only been in the last six months that i have trusted him more and let him in, and revealed more of my past to him.During this last five weeks i have seen him weekly, and started sending him emails in an effort to work through my feelings about him moving. Well i did a stella job of fooling him and myself that i would be ok.. The reality is that i am devistated. He kindly offered to do some phone consults, and told me to take my time in finding a new psychiatrist. I really dont know what to do. It will keep thing raw having contact. At sometime i will have to break contact.  I wil have to face the pain of the loss. At the same time i long for the contact with him. I guess there is at least another week before i can contact him. I really dont know what to to. Only time will tell.

I really feel for you having to go through this twice in a short space of time. I know what its like finding it hard to trust and trust being broken. 

Wishing you well.