Lived Experience Forum

[Blahblah]

The thing is..Things are said for real regarding citizenship and immigration.

Then I have to pretend it's not said ..things like this afternoon .." you're going to the airport" leaving me distressed but if I say anything he denies it then tells me to take pills ...yet really I'm being told I'll be sent back to UK at some point in the future .. 

[Jynx]

Hi @Blahblah sounds quite distressing for you to be getting such mixed information. Do you have any mental health supports over here? A GP or a psychiatrist who can help you in navigating your mental health stuff? 

[Appleblossom]

hi @Blahblah at first I was not sure whether the gaslighting was happening by people in more extended relationships, but this sounds like it is your partner.  That can be invasive.  Try and take care of yourself.

My best advice is to try and find a long term solution.  Accept that this is not a very loving and supportive relationship.  Whether you can stay in Australia or return to UK, is almost less important than finding a way to regain confidence in your sanity.  Popping more pills, is only sometimes in one's best interest.  More life skills or therapeutic outcomes is better.  However medication is an important interim support, so I am not saying to stop.  Find a balance.  There must be people involved in prescribing, find a counsellor or social worker to talk about options.

[Blahblah]

Well in all these years I find some sound advice! at last ..yes and thankyou so much ..I found a old dictaphone in cupboards and will get evidence to show counsellor whom I'm setting up in a couple of months .And gradually work out what to do with his /her advice..

I want to stay with my husband currently and love him but he says those things such as "going to the airport"and "back" 

He also mentioned a 40 yr old female and there's a game there ..a younger woman .. I'm 44 he's 57 I guess I've gotten old .

It's about him getting with another woman and me being flown out of Australia but I'm a citizen .

Ok thanks and this is sooo helpful as I have no one and being messed around especially with psych drugs to cover their actions..👋:face_with_rolling_eyes:💖

[Blahblah]

Hi again.. he's yes started again .. saying games he's bad and I'm seeing a very unloving side of him .. he doesn't care about me because I migrated to Australia so we'll have to break up and I'll get sent back to UK ..this seems to be the attack .. it's upsetting and I've been strong through breast cancer but he wants to play games say I'm insane and leave me for a younger woman ..I think it's Catherine in Boatshed .." get fucked " he said when I said "40 " and told him to get his ears tested denying saying it ..one of his games it seems so hard to figure out what to do on my own like this .. especially when I've been locked up in the past for his games and there's a strong possibility I'm sane ..there's just games here and they don't want me here in Australia 🦘💗

[fluffylight]

Hi @Blahblah
Thank you for sharing about this.
It sounds like you are having a hard time navigating different things.

Are you concerned for your safety? I wanted to share the number to 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), if you feel like speaking to someone about your relationship.

If you wanted to, you can also contact our support line to talk the situation through with someone: call 1800 187 263 Mon-Fri, 10am-8pm.

Can I ask if you have any professional support for your mental health at this unsettled time?

Hope you can take care of yourself.

fluffylight x

[Blahblah]

Hi there many thanks 💗

I called that respect number once or twice over the 13 years of this gaslighting experience but as soon as I said I had schizophrenia they just assumed it was meds alterations needed and a different department ..I feel I was misdiagnosed and anyhow it'll require proof .. gotta get batteries for my dictaphone and line up a psychologist or something to talk it through ..a counsellor might help .. trouble is you can't access them easily .. I'll ask Gp ..

Many thanks for all your help and I'll be ok I believe I'm safe and not in any danger 🙏👋💖

[Blahblah]

I'll think about calling that support line ..when alone ..and sorting batteries for dictaphone...sneak them in with food shopping.. it's vital that I catch them out .. saying these things ..I can't show or tell my UK family as my Dad is old and he is brainwashed by my husband who plays the performance of a perfect husband but he doesn't know the truth .I have a sister in UK too who believes I'm insane and lets them off hook saying I imagine it and take more pills..I feel I was misdiagnosed..My husband has a girlfriend in the workplace she came to our house and said something outside our window..he now says the thing she said regularly.. letting me know he's thinking of her ..it causes pain and I feel abused mentally..I don't drive so I don't work either and have no friends..the only two people I know abuse me mentally that's my husband and his mother..

All of a sudden I see that I'll have to leave my husband of 16 years as I am suffering this abuse and there's more games going on than a casino..

I need security and deserve better . I'm a nice quiet woman and wouldn't do these things to them .. I'm under a relentless attack...

It is helping me to talk or write here about my daily attacks that he puts me through and his mother..

Thanks for reading... I'll have a plan..one that will hopefully workout..but the pain of losing my husband of 16 years is ever present I'll have to be strong and hopefully I'll get to UK and get off the meds and see how my brain regains itself and I become me again..👋💖

[Appleblossom]

@Blahblah I was in a marriage with gaslighting from the beginning.  Why do we stay so long?

I also have different views about the diagnosis of Schizophrenia than the average person.  Had a lot to do with people who have suffered that label and done a lot of research.

Take Care of you

Apple

[Appleblossom]

If you want you can tag people by pressing the @key and a drop down menu comes up with profile names.

Then it will be seen in blue hypertext @Blahblah like that.

I had to go very slowly and carefully when I planned my getaway.  It was 20 years ago.