Lived Experience Forum

[Musicteacher13]

I'm currently 10 weeks out from finishing my music degree and my mind won't let me concentrate. I sit in class and before I realise its over. I suffer from bad dissociation when I'm stressed, one of the many symptoms of bpd. I'm also struggling with keeping track of relity because of it. How can I stop, I'm so close but it seems so far away.

[Billie]

Hi @Musicteacher13,

I can relate, I'm also just about to finish my degree. This year has been a constant battle, struggling to get distracting thoughts out of my head so I can actually do some work. The best thing for me to concentrate is to work in an environment where other people are wokring, such a library, as it motivates me to try and keep my thought on track. I just wanted to you know that you are not alone.

[Shimmer]

Hi @Musicteacher13,

Struggling to concentrate sounds so tough so close to the end of your degree!

Great suggestion from @Billie about trying an environment in which others are working.

It may sound counterintuitive, but being self-compassionate can also help release some of the stress that interferes with concentration. This might involve allowing yourself to have a go at working for a short period of time, without putting too high expectations about what you get done, perhaps saying something to yourself like "okay, I'm going to have a go at this, but I don't need to get it all done at once". Perhaps tailoring some similar ideas to your own situation might be worth a try?

Also, just wondering if you have any support around this @Musicteacher13? Either in your personal life, or a teacher in the course, or a mental health professional etc.?

Wishing you all the best in finishing your degree, we'll be here to support you.

Shimmer

[Former-Member]

Go to your doc and get a medical certificate to give you some extra time if you need it. And if you feel comfortable, talk to your lecturers and let them know that you have an illness that is impacting your studies.
And I agree with Billie, a library can be really helpful for focusing. Try to do it in small chunks, 10min or so at a time.
And believe in yourself, you can do this! You can finish your degree and imagine how great it will feel on graduation day when you're all done. 🙂

[Appleblossom]

The stress of cramming in information is phenomenal.  We need music teachers ... and other informed citizens ... yay.  Take whatever steps necessary re extensions and med support to secure your investment in your and our whole societies future.  Good Luck

[Musicteacher13]

Thanks everyone. I do seem to be able to work well in the library, but I struggle to leave the house some days because I get so anxious. It's nice to see I'm not the only one struggling. I am surround by beautiful people who really help me, yet I struggle daily with lonlyness and I get bouts of depression. I have a very supportive team of doctors, but money is also another stress. I never have money to pay my appointments. So I constantly worry about money. I've never really meet anyone else with bpd and sometimes it feels so frustrating to not explain my moods.