Lived Experience Forum

[Smittenkitten]

Thanks @Former-Member I will definitely check it out!

Smittenkitten

[BPDSurvivor]

Hey @Smittenkitten ,

I remember the last few times I terminated from long-term therapy, I wrote my therapists a detailed letter and made a personalised gift.

The letter allowed me to think about the start of my journey with the therapist, the middle of my journey, the end of my journey, as well as articulate how I could use that learning for my future journey. This in itself was therapy. Along with giving a personalised gift, it meant I was in control of the 'end' and it was something to celebrate and move on from.

@Smittenkitten I can defintely relate to you. Even when I think about my last sessions now, I will still get upset. Yet I can also celebrate how far I have come.

All the best,

BPDSurvivor

[Appleblossom]

Sorry did not want to distract from your particular relationship.  Its good you have insight, and some academic perspective.  

I had extreme attachment issues and was very reluctant to finish any therpauetic relationship.

I have also given gifts to people who have worked with me.

@Smittenkitten 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Smittenkitten , thanks for your response...I also express myself better with writing. It sounds like you're on top of the whole process, well done...I am hoping that that will make it a bit easier, even if it's still very painful. 

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@Smittenkitten wrote:

I'm not emotionally close to my family and don't really have any friends I can talk to about what I'm going through.

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I'm glad you can talk to us here about it 🙂

Hoping that you can say all you need to in the last few sessions, and also get all the help you need in them too, to deal with the parting. 

Lots of good wishes to you...

[Smittenkitten]

I've been having an okay week, all things considered. I saw my GP on Tuesday and she has taken over the search for a psychiatrist from me, which is a huge relief.

I volunteer two days a week, and I went in for a shift today. It was a lot of fun and the manager is really lovely, but now I'm home I'm exhausted. I got a bit sad by the end of my shift, and although I'm not crying or ruminating, I just feel like the grief of it all has sapped my energy completely.

It probably doesn't help that I didn't sleep much last night, and I'm feeling particularly isolated today. I want to reach out, but I'm not really sure who I can talk to. Hopefully work will be a good distraction tomorrow. I have been making plans for the future to try and feel better, like emailing the convener about going back to uni. I'm even thinking about trying to find some friends on dating apps.

In some ways I feel like I'm rediscovering myself. In the last week I've cut my hair back the way I like it, ordered some brighter hair colour, and I feel like I'm done apologising for who I am and what I want out of life. I guess maybe I want my therapist to see that I'm standing up for who I am before I go, instead of being left with the lasting impression that I'm trying to hide my awesomeness and accommodate what others want/expect me to be.

Anyway that's my thoughts for the day.

Smittenkitten