Lived Experience Forum

[B45]

I'm working through my anxiety but had a trigger yesterday & I fell back down. Suicidal thoughts - not that I would, asking myself what can I do. No one to talk to & see counsellor in a few days. I feel scared that I can't cope. I do though have a few positive moments.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @B45

Keep chatting online here .... we'll keep you company ....

As people respond to your posts, they will get email notifications for this thread.

Good job for reaching out !

Youre not alone, and many of us can relate ....

🌷 F&H

[B45]

Thanks Faith & Hope for responding so quickly.  I'm scared I do not like feeling like this.  I know it takes time to get a hold of your anxiety but when the triggers keep coming it's hard to stay motivated.  Neighbours is my anxiety.  I can handle other things in life but this makes me feel uncomfortable.  Tried my guided meditation last night but ended up crying.  I don't want my kids or hubby to see this & hubby doesn't really understand &/or know how to deal with it.  I feel alone.  Want someone to pick me up and take me away.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Oh I can relate to that @B45 ....

Distraction is a good option. Do you have music on your phone and earphones ?

If you click on the @ symbol on your keyboard you should get a drop-down box with my name in it .... click on that . Saves typing it out, and it flags me to your response 😊

[Former-Member]

Hi @B45

Welcome to the forums. I hope that you find the forums as helpful for you as I have for me. 

I have anxiety/ptsd and an understand how hard it is... and how hard it is to be around other people and both not want them to know/see how hard it is and wish that they could undrstand at the same time! I have lots of triggers which is really difficult. 

Lots of perseverance is needed to make progress with anxiety i think. Are you getting some help from a psychologist or counsellor? 

Keep taking breaks for you through the day if you can, even if it's just remembering to breathe. (i have my phone set on little reminders to remind me!

lj

[Acacia]

Hi @B45

Welcome to the Forums. I’m glad you found us

It sounds like things are really hard right now. It’s great to hear that you can still stay aware of the positive moments. It’s also great that you have reached out here – I think that demonstrates that you’re good at exploring ways to cope.

There is a great discussion here called coping box (an old one but a good one!), where members have shared different strategies. Do you have any strategies that have been helpful in the past?

[pip]

Hi B45. Even though you're married with children, you actually feel alone. Depression can do this, no matter how you try to explain to someone else, because they can't 'feel' what you feel it's impossible for others to understand. Have a look at what triggered yesterday, was it something specific or just a 'feeling' of not wanting to 'be there' anymore. If it was just not wanting to be there, you need a distraction. What sort of things do you enjoy, are you an avid reader, do you enjoy music. These questions may seem trivia, but whenever I feel like I've had 'enough' I retreat into my books, music, t.v. We all need time out, whether from mental issues or just generally tired. Do you have any hobbies or interest, apart from what I've suggested for me? Have a look at the positives in your life, I don't mean hubby, children, I mean 'your' life. Do you work, voluntary or paid work? If you don't, does the thought of voluntary work or paid work interest you. I do a voluntary job (I'm off sick at the moment, due to undergoing radiation for breast cancer surgery). However, once I'm given the 'all clear' I'm returning to work. Do you have a close friend/work colleague who really understands your needs. If there is someone like that, why not give them a call and ask for their help. Some people recommend shopping for therapy, or going to a good 'belly laughing' type movie. Maybe ask hubby for time together minus kids.

[B45]

Thanks @Former-Member yes I am seeing a councellor, she is great but I find it's between visits, when I have to face triggers & work through them on my own.

[Sehnsucht]

Hugs xxx

[B45]

Thanks everyone for your replies.  I do have a "toolbox" but I'm new to implementing tools when I have a trigger.  What triggered me yesterday should not have affected me like it did but sometimes I get sucked in & hooked.  I am quite often hard on myself.  I just want to live a happy & peaceful life.  For most of my life I have been introverted, reserved & not strong emotionally.  I know I can do it & I know it will take time, I just have to be gentle with myself.