Lived Experience Forum

[destructive]

I always seem to shoot myself in my foot. I find someone who can maybe help and then I go to far and they can't anymore. I don't mean to. 

I have been diagnosed with DID. Even though I'm not sure about that I do know I sometimes do things I don't mean to/want to and then realise it's too late. 

I just want to cry or vomit or cry and vomit. I think maybe a psychologist actually cared a little and was trying to help but I bugged her too much. Every time I did it I told myself I wouldn't do it again and then I would. What is wrong with me? Why and I suchy a needy idiot 😞

[Jynx]

@destructive Sounds like something has happened with your supports? If you've got DID, I think it's very fair to be needing that support, and I'm not sure what you mean by 'going too far' but you deserve to feel supported and cared for regardless of how your MH is impacting you. If you are finding that one psych or MH support isn't enough, you can always branch out and find some extra people to be able to reach out to when you need to. 

[destructive]

@Jynx thanks but it was me. I crossed a boundry writing them too much. It's complicated. I shouldn't even be writing them at all at the moment because I can't go. Which I totally get but it's hard because then I've ruined and I didn't even mean to write. mad at myself. Feel like vomiting because I've ruined it but also I dont really have any help and I'm not doing good. I've been having these times of being really worried about strange things. I've had this happen some times before and it scares me. I feel like I need to be punished maybe that would keep me in line . Probably doesn't matter thought because I've annoyed them..

[Jynx]

@destructive When you say you ruined it, do you mean your therapist has told you you can no longer contact them? It sounds like you really could use some extra support right now - I really don't think you deserve punishment, just more people around you when you have need of it! 

It's never fun to feel like we've annoyed someone, but if we take the time to apologise, and try to change how we act next time, then it's no reason for that person to continue being annoyed, let alone punish us.