Lived Experience Forum

[Gazza75]

@BlueBay,

Your anger and frustration is understandable.  I struggle to put up with headaches for 5 minutes let alone 5 days.  It might be time to try another doctor.  I tried this myself a few weeks ago and only got referred back to my current one.  I didn't press it as I could hardly understand doctor number 2.

I don't feel very well supported at all by my existing doctor and even my psycholgist is letting me down in one of the areas I need help with.  I can't be more specific as I'll get into trouble.  I was also dismayed at some comments made to me here last night.

I would try and get all the rest in you can today as I know you are meant to be working the rest of the week.  It's fairly easy for me to keep going.  I don't have a lot of the stress and worries that you do.  

It's very easy for doctors to be dismissive of us, they don't have to live wth it.  I always think is this how you would treat your son, daughter or partner if you were helping them?  My answer is usually no.  I think its a conveyor belt system where they get you in and out wth the minimal of fuss and work more often than not.  I know there are good doctors and people out there, but, they are like hens teeth as the old saying goes.

I'm feeling tired a lot of the time now.  I've been out of sorts for weeks maybe months, I think it's been creeping up on Me.  I'd like to take time off work, but, its not really an option as I've taken so much leave and holidays the last year with my brothers injury.  

I know it feels hard to keep on keeping on, but, we have to try and push through for our family and ourselves.  

Hi @Faith-and-Hope , hope you are on the mend to 🙂

[MDT]

Sorry to hear that @BlueBay
I am thinking of you my friend.

Can you employ coping mechanisms or similar? Sounds like there is a lot on your plate atm.

[BlueBay]

Thanks @MDT 

I’m going to go fir a walk around the block this arvo. 

I just want wish my life was easier. 

Anyway I should go I need to get rid of this headache. 

Chst lster ❤️

Hi @Gazza75  I’m sorry you’re not doing great. I totally understand. My doctor is normally a fantastic doctor but recently he says things like “oh it’s your mental health”. I know I have mentsl health issues but I csnt fix them all in one day. 

I just don’t know 

I just feel I csnt keep going 

hope you can find some peace too

hugs ❤️

[Eucalypt]

Hi @BlueBay 
I hope the walk around the block helps to ease your headache and that a bit of fresh air helps you to reconnect with your strength to keep going.
Just a reminder that you can contact one of the 24 hr services below if you require additional support:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

[BlueBay]

Hi @Eucalypt  don’t think I’ll go fir my walk. I’m in bed hiding away from life 

my head hurts my back and body ache 

I need to talk but don’t want to ring lifeline. 

Im safe fir now but not sure how long I can keeping plodding along 

I’m just aching all over 

[Owlunar]

I hear you @BlueBay  and I understand

My thoughts are that you need to make a decision in order to help yourself - actually - doing nothing is making a decision too but maybe this isn't working for you right now and you do need to lelt your doctor know that this is too much and you need that break you feel you can't take because of financial reasons

I get that - I really do - I had those stressors in the past too - I know your psyche is away but he must have left your notes with someone else - or 

Your doctor said he would look after you and your depression - I read that a few days back - and so today was a huge let down - what was it - relieve your stress - 

Taking a walk - uumm - not something I want to do today - I remember when my stress levels were over the top and I can't tell you how I relieved them - I've forgotten - I used to play the piano or ride my bike - I remember feeling at the end of my tether and I can identify how you feel - I used to have short visits in hospital as part of my treatment - I didn't have antidepressents through all of that - it's something on a case by case basis I think - I'm sure actually - and right now you are so tired of everything

It sounded as if you had made some decisions about your house when D and A move out - getting a smaller place without a body corporate - I have never had to deal with a body corporate - sounds expensive - I wonder what they do with the money you pay them - regardless - I do know that cutting your mortgage down to 1/4 of your income is positive and sensible - right now I am guessing that you have moved on to thinking about moving - ah - difficult - I don't like moving either - but you have moved recently so there is less to pack and dispose of now but I bet you feel overwhelmed with the idea

So you have a choice of plugging on the way you are and having a bad headache - I have had stress headaches - I still do sometimes - I know they are horrible - it's a rotten way to manage - or getting back onto the doctor and telling him you need hosptial and don't take no for an answer - 

And I know it's really hard - I do

Dec

[Eucalypt]

Hi @BlueBay 

I'm glad that you're safe for now. I will send you an email shortly if you could check your inbox.

[BlueBay]

Hi @Owlunar 

i think I need to keep working fir the next three weeks until the other girl comes back from leave. I don’t have a choice. I need the extra money. If I went into hospital now I would terribly guilty for not working those extra hours fir extra money. 

I know now thst I carry a lot of my stress in my head neck and shoulders. I have a heat pack which is good. 

I’m in bed just trying to rest my body. 

It’s freezing cold no walk. 

Yeah been thinking of selling a lot lately as you know. Our body Corp is $3000 a year which when I think doesn’t cover a lot. We get 24/7 security of area and back up service from home. They look after all plants on our nature strip incl mulch. They maintain all parks. And you get a ticket fir boat ramp if you have a boat. Which we don’t. 

Uts a lot of money. I could go away on holidays with that money!!! 

Snyway we bought our house knowing this but we really fell in love with our home. No kids in area just a nice quiet area. 

Yeah I’m getting very stressed and anxious thinking about moving but you’re right we don’t have a lot of stuff. Because we culled a huge amount with last move. We do still have 4 years of builders warranty which is good for buyers. And there’s nothing to do I. The house. 

Anyway im trying hard not to think of the move. I need to be strong for thst. 

Hope you’re day is going ok ❤️

[BlueBay]

Hi @Owlunar 

im sorry I just remembered tiday is Wednesday and it’s a hard day for you. 

Just know that I’m sending you a big big hug and lots of love ❤️❤️

Thinking of you today. Xxoo 

[Owlunar]

Yes @BlueBay 

It is Wednesday - I managed yesterday fairly well - today is different - I had a headache early and some relaxation helped that to go but it's back - persistent and bossy headache - unwelcome and unfriendly headache - I have taken some medication for it but it's hanging about

I just feel tired otherwise - 

I can hear what you are saying about the situation you are in right now - for you feeling guilty is worse than the stress you are having right now - with the headaches and pain in your neck etc - it must feel horrible

There is no need to feel guilty about caring for yourself though - but this is what you are choosing so I am suggesting that you have an appointment with your psyche set up when this extra time at work is over - let his office know how you have been battling - I know you get put on a waiting list for the hospital where you are - which seems the pits to me - possibly and indication that the mental health issues in your area are insuffucient - and so to take care of yourself make sure that your psyche is aware of how hard you are battling right now - please do something to take the weight of your mind

It's really hard to please other people when you are strung out as you are - I had a think about this Body Corporate Money - yes - I can get how you get caught into that - with the stress over buying and selling real estate it's really easy to be caught with something like - "The fees are less than $60.00 a week and you get all of this extra stuff" - wow - people live without that - I can see how you got caught in that and how wonderful it would be not to have that out of your income every payday - I think you had your hours cut back after you bought the house as well - I didn't realise you were in a Body Corporate - that is an confusion and extra cash issue you can live without

It's difficult - I do know this - 

Try and take things easy - you have extra time at work - this will fill your time anyway - but care for yourself all the time - take time out for 5 minutes here and there at work - and try and not think about the things you don't have to worry about right now - you don't have to sell the house yet or look at other properties yet or have your kids move out yet so there is no need to stress about life-changes right now - you only have to get through the next few weeks but set things up for after that - the self-care you need can only come from yourself and it's a good idea to care for yourself

Dec