So it has come to my attention recently that I am not as good at conversations as I thought I was and I kind of realized that I am only really able to keep an conversation going if the topic is one of my about 7ish special interests and other than that I suck at conversations I also suck at small talk and find it excruciating and painful but this has become an issue with my support workers because if they don’t know about my special interest topics the conversation either turns to small talk or fizzles out and I have had support workers leave because they have said they don’t know how to work with me or that they thought I didn’t like them when I never said that but apparently those were the signals I was giving off even though I never said such a thing and yes I do struggle with eye contact unless I know you very well and am very comfortable with you I probably won’t look you in the eyes but anyway I don’t know how to communicate with neurotypical people apparently and I was wondering if anyone here did know how too. This seems to be affecting my whole life because I keep losing friends with no explanation and it is affecting my ability to keep and retain supports that I need to function and live my life. I don’t know what to do…?
@EternalFlower thanks i think that only applies with certain situations though because like on here it is easier because i can relate to people and so i understand better what someone may be going through and i do care about other people and how they are feeling and stuff but i just cant do small talk and for some reason that is very off putting to some people like i have lost over 6 support workers because of them saying they didnt know how to work with me and that they thought i didnt like them and i am struggling to find more who are a good fit and idk it is just very frustrating because like spaces like here we dont have to do small talk and so everything is interesting enough to keep the conversation going or there is a prescribed topic to cover but outside of that structure i can struggle.
I have also had issues with support workers but I fired them moreso I never enjoy their company. So I could also wander ....can start to doubt myself...but I think with support workers therr are so many flaky ones so I wander if u just have boundaries as that scares them away
They like ppl easy to manipulate.
I understand how much better it is to talk to ppl who understand
@EternalFlower yeah i have had some pretty bad ones before unfortunately and sadly there are a bunch who are just there for the money there are some good ones out there but they are hard to find and keep. but yeah i am just struggling to find good ones.
Support Worker, if there for Social support that includes conversations, then you can note down/PRINT/COPY your interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes on the Paper and share with each of them, so they are aware of it, and can undertake their services in an informed way!!!
@Eden1919 I used to be very shy and hang my head, but did a workshop in the 198Os called Self Transformation, where we did activities on maintaining eye contact. It really helped me. I am no popularity queen or social butterfly, though.
I am not big on small talk either but learning to find a path that allows me to be authentic and not always too heavy.
7 interests is a few. Enough to broaden into conversation if the other party puts in.
Yep @SchizOttie that’s an idea. We all have to learn on the job, so support workers should try too. They are paid for it.
@Appleblossom hey apple, thanks for writing - i won't lie i find most support workers terrible - but i've had some fire me also - mainly the coordinators
2 in a row said i was not easy for them and got rid of me - no handover, no support, no care. @Eden1919 so many terrible ones. sometimes i find them also just overall unsavoury, unstable, ungrounded, and i dont like being arond them 😞
