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25 Jan 2023 06:43 PM
25 Jan 2023 06:43 PM
25 Jan 2023 07:02 PM
25 Jan 2023 07:02 PM
That is understandable hon @outlander
We are good at comparing ourselves to others and their achievements.
I know it may be far fetched but try and do what makes you happy hon. I know that is much easier said then done, but sometimes we just need to put ourselves first.
In saying that I know you have so many other responsibilities that you have to try and deal with.
25 Jan 2023 09:45 PM
25 Jan 2023 09:45 PM
26 Jan 2023 07:18 AM
26 Jan 2023 07:18 AM
@outlander wrote:
@NatureLoveri want to do things like move out/get my own place, be more independent rather then everyone knowing where i am 24/7, study without the pressures of having to have so many responsibilities.
@outlander Can you just focus on one thing, like getting your own place? You're working, so have proof of employment for renting a flat. I really hope you can 💙
26 Jan 2023 10:07 AM
26 Jan 2023 10:07 AM
@outlander It would be very difficult to deal with. Coming to terms with what you can and cannot do with your injuries and the long term implications. As well as the fact that your injuries came from something you loved doing as well as the business career side of it.
I can say I had to go through a similar journey as my neck injury came from my own desire to do the best I could on piano and my mother's continuing pressures that I was not doing enough. It remains a bittersweet thing but I have learned to live with it. You may not really know what you are capable of until you "fully heal" if that is possible. Our living environment is a huge key to feeling safe and able to thrive. Sometimes achievements happen in little spurts and dribs and drabs over time. Getting your mindset clear and your personal space clear of toxic input is a huge part of the way I managed. It is your decision. Sometimes we toss things up for a while and sometimes we dive in. We are here for you. You can do a lot, keep having faith in yourself and be kind to yourself.
26 Jan 2023 03:34 PM
26 Jan 2023 03:34 PM
I felt incredibly lost and without purpose when I stopped drinking.
I had to prepare a plan to stop drinking when I left rehab. They were wonderful. I identified 12 things I wanted to do to look after myself from the emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, relationships and psychological perspectives.
Some of the main things I still carry with me is mindfulness, being present, using your emotional thermometer etc.
The BIGGEST most profound thing they gave me was a new way of living. It’s called “living by your values”. Means that rather than thinking about “things” immediately, the first thing you should consider is what’s important to you (love, holidays, family, cooking). Once you know these you have something to help guide your decisions by. And that was where I found my priorities and purpose.
So this is how I live. It’s a bit abstract but it’s absolutely worked for me. Suggestion only.
26 Jan 2023 07:19 PM
26 Jan 2023 07:19 PM
Greetings @outlander
I also feel lost. Thanks for your collective wisdom @NatureLover @Snowie @Appleblossom @Delicatessen and others.
I've felt like a lost soul since stopping work (I was a workaholic and identified with my calling). I'm having to rework my values and
wrestle with my limitations to find new interests or unearth old ones.
I bought an acceptance and commitment therapy workbook that offers hope (if/when I start it!).
Dimity
26 Jan 2023 07:54 PM
26 Jan 2023 07:54 PM
Hugs @Dimity
ACT is incredible. Such a simple concept, which, if practised, has profound effects.
I'm interested to hear how you find it.
Hope you are well.
26 Jan 2023 11:24 PM
26 Jan 2023 11:24 PM
26 Jan 2023 11:26 PM
26 Jan 2023 11:26 PM
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