Lived Experience Forum

[Dothemo]

Hi Saneforums,

I really had to post about this because I'm really down about it. If you are prone to depression and find matters of animal sickness disturbing, stop reading now.

One of my best friends was going on holidays for a week with his new girlfriend and kids, and asked me if I can can feed his pets. He has 3 very young cats, an old cat and a young dog. I agreed because he gave me a tank of gas for it and I'd do almost anything for him. Anyway he went through a bad divorce and his ex wife left her old 14 year old cat with my friend when she left. My friend is kind and looks after the old cat the best he can but when my friends new girlfriend came along to live with my friend bringing two more kids and 3 young cats into the equation, the gf didn't like the old cat because it was cranky from a snake bite it had as a kitten and it didn't get along with the new cats (of course) so the poor thing became an outside cat eventually.

So to cut a long story short(er) I went around yesterday to pick up the key and get the gas, also to see where the food was. I noticed that the old cat was under a bush in the front yard and it's breathing appeared laboured. I told my friend and he picked it up - it growled and hissed in pain and didn't look well. He took it inside to eat but it wouldn't. It couldn't walk properly and had an ataxic gait. I told my friend that he absolutely must take it to the vet for treatment that night or tomorrow morning before he went on holiday. He said he had no money but would ring his ex wife to come and get it. I said OK and left.

That night I texted my friend several times to remind him to get the old cat treatment. He texted back once to say that his ex wife said she'd pay but wouldn't pick the cat up.

So I get to the house today in the arvo to feed the pets. I firstly looked for the old cat, it had been raining heavily and I found it in a bush. The poor thing came out of the bush very slowly and was wobbly. I rang my friend furious, he told me they couldn't find a vet open (bulls**t, there are three emergency vets in my city, all 24hrs - as well as normal ones that is). I told him the cat was in pain and that it needed help NOW. He told me to wait till tomorrow in normal business hours and then they lost reception in their car. I went outside and gave the cat some food, it ate but was a mess, needing help straight away. I called the vet and they said to bring it in and they'll call the ex-wife for billing, I had her number from another friend.

So I took it to the vet, they were very lovely. They took it in and then the vet came out 30 mins later. She told me that the cat had multiple severe problems. It couldn't feel it's front leg and that its body temperature was low. She told me that she contacted the ex wife, the ex wife was distressed and felt guilty but told her to put it down. The vet hinted to me that with a LOT of money and care, they could have restored it.

So they put the old cat down. I left the vet and started crying in the car. I'm bloody fuming about it. They left the poor cat without treatment and left me to deal with this. The ex-wife didn't even come TO BE WITH THE CAT WHEN THEY EUTHANASED IT. It's so sad. At least it is at peace now and not sick anymore.

I'm upset at my friend and his ex-wife. A PET IS FOR LIFE and shouldn't be abandoned when a marriage ends now because a new partner doesn't like it.

I can't stay cross at my friend forever though, he's one of those friends forever kind of friends. I am depressed about this.

I just need your thoughts and musings on the situation. It would be much appreciated dear friends.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Dothemo, just came across this post from you. What a sad story about the cat who needed to be euthanised. I'm so glad you were there to take care of it. But it's understandable you are upset, especially given how much you love and care for your own lovely cat. Agreed that your friends were terribly neglectful and it was just not right at all that you were left to take care of such an emotional personal matter. It sounds like you may need to talk about this with your friend after you have spent some time processing it. 

[Change123]

Hi @Dothemo

Its a shitty thing when people do this to animals.  I find of late I'm stressing over the same thing where I work.  I'm not a cat person but my boss loves cats and feeds all the strays (which I dont really think is a good thing) but anyway she used to be good and if they were sick would catch them and take them to the vet.  One of the oldest cats who was 18yrs old use to sleep outside but come in to the work premises during the day.  The two owners were going overseas and the cat didnt look good, she ignored our pleas stating she will come good. Next day they leave for overseas and I see the old cat dragging her leg trying to walk so I grabbed her and took her inside and it was obvious it was broken.  We contacted the owners and they said to get her put down. One of the employees who was close with this cat was asked to taker her to the vet.  This was extremely difficult for him and he cried aswell, this happened 3 weeks ago and the boss to this day has not even thanked him or asked him of he was ok.

Consequently I had to talk to this employee the same, unfortunately there are people in this world who dont take their responisbility of owning a pet seriously (I would do anything for my boy - dog) and we cant control that.  While it is extremely upsetting we need to learn to let go as otherwise you will have a house full of rejected pets that we have saved.  I try to think when I see this happening to others pets, atleast its not mine and mine gets the very best of care and I usually go home and give my boy a even bigger hug.  

You have definitely gone beyond what you should have done and obviously your friends priorities have changed and it was so unfair to leave this to you.

As @Mazarita said maybe once you have calmed down speak to your friend to see why they chose to do this.

[Dothemo]

Thanks for the words and thoughts @Change123 and @Mazarita. I do feel a bit better about the situation now because I do realise I did the right thing although it was deeply depressing and distressing at the time. Thankyou