My special place

[Eve7]

It doesn’t seem to matter whether I have support or not @Snowie 

I understand about not wanting to rely on ect and I feel the same way. I just had a plate of vegetables for dinner, what’s on at your house tonight? I’m going through Olympic withdrawals 😢

[rav3n]

glad to hear you're safe @Snowie. it's tough feeling alone when you're around others. even though it feels lonely, just know that we're thinking of you and you matter to us ✨

is there any coping tools you could use right now? or we can brainstorm some if you'd like?

[Snowie]

Have you been able to speak to your own pdoc at least @Eve7?

Do they do any follow up calls/appointments at all?

Having chicken, vegies and mashed potato for tea. Easy to make and everyone eats it. I think anything would taste good if I didn't have to cook it!

Missing the Olympics too. Don't really like day time tv

Thanks @rav3n 

I see my psych tomorrow. I know she is not going to be happy with me.

I have been writing in my journal. I think I might show it to my psych. Then I don't have to say it.

I am struggling to do any self care. My mind keeps telling me 'what's the point'.

[rav3n]

showing your psych your journal sounds like a great idea @Snowie, hopefully she'll be able to understand that you've had a lot on your mind. 

it's hard sometimes to add in some self-care or see the point in doing it - its one of those things where when you keep practicing it regularly you slowly start to see a difference. at first you might think its not doing much since you're so used to prioritising others before yourself, but over time the benefits do come through! how about we try to fit in one now - maybe let's practice gratitude? what's a small win or something thing you're grateful for this week?

[Snowie]

I'm normally ok with self care @rav3n 

I have a list of things that I try, which does help at times.

It is when my brain decides I'm not worthy of it, that it won't help, that whatever I try the outcome will still be the same. That I'm headed down that dark path.

I'm grateful for my kids, they keep me going and trying when I don't want too. I'm grateful that I see my psych tomorrow. I know I am lucky to have her.

I got to the supermarket this morning too. After the weekend I had, it is very much a big win!

[Eve7]

Sounds like a good meal @Snowie I admire the way you look after your family when you are obviously unwell.

Sitting with you my friend 💚💛 

[Snowie]

Thanks @Eve7 

I always find looking after others so much easier than looking after myself. I think that would probably be the case for a lot of us.

I think it is also a case of not having to admit to myself how things have actually become. The less focus on me the better.

[Eve7]

How do you feel about an admission @Snowie ?

[rav3n]

i see what you mean @Snowie, are there any triggers/signs you notice before those negative thought patterns pop up?

not sure if this would work for you but just reminding myself that my low mood & negative thoughts are NOT facts, that the darkness and emptiness i feel is temporary and that i will bounce back eventually helps me find some comfort during those tough times.

thanks for sharing those gratitudes and wins with me - that's definitely a great win. finding these little moments of goodness even in tough times shows a great deal of strength. keep holding onto them 💗

[Snowie]

I really don't want to go down that path @Eve7 I know if it continues like this than my pdoc might not give me a choice. I am hoping that my psych can help keep me out.

All my admissions in the past have been at least 4 weeks.