Lived Experience Forum

[Snowie]

Our brains can certainly play tricks on us @creative_writer 

Hopefully it can slow down a bit for you. I'm sure it will be a nice feeling when they are done. A little less stress for you.

I spoke to someone. dont know why

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I’m feeling rather annoyed, brain won’t keep attention. I feel like I need more caffeine but I’ve already sort of had the max matcha. Coffee is hard on my stomach😞. This is incredibly irritating.

You matter hun, you spoke because you had the strength to 💖

[Snowie]

It sounds irritating @creative_writer I'm sorry I'm not much help either. Can you put your uni work aside for the rest of the day or do you need to do more?

Could you have a cup of tea at all? 

Far from strong after what I've done.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie i feel like i have to but I don't want to. Why can't my brain just function?

You are strong hun, its natural to use coping strategies that aren't the best to cope, but you are doing your best 💖

[Snowie]

@creative_writer can you break it down into smaller parts. Just concentrate on doing a little at each stage. Then once you have finished that, then you can go on to the next part.

Or maybe your brain just needs a rest.

Have you got any plans for tonight?

I know it's wrong, I know the consequences, yet I continue.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie maybe I shouldn't complain because things have still be overall better. Everything still feels hard though. Since I am unable to do anything right now, it's hard not to go back into the rumination cycle. I don't have any energy to get up and have a snack even, I literally don't care even though I know having regular meals is better for migraines. I don't really have much planned for tonight. How about you?

I hear you. I ended up losing a bit of feeling from my arm after self harming countless of times in the past. But sometimes we don't know how to cope, we just do what we can. I know it probably doesn't feel like enough, I just hope with time you'll be able to find other ways to cope 💖

[Snowie]

You're not complaining @creative_writer Your feelings and thoughts are extremely valid.

That rumination cycle is hard to deal with. I understand how the lack of energy can impact us. Sometimes it's just too hard to even get up. Easier said than done, but sometimes we just have to give ourselves a break. (if only I could abide by my own words)

I have nothing planned for tonight. Both kids are working so just hubby and I home. I haven't told him what I've done and what I want to do. I don't think I can. 

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I always feel like I’m being too lazy or I’m not good enough with everything I do. I always feel like I’m the problem because no matter how hard I try I only progress very very very slowly. I’ve been told I’m the problem. I get stuck in the same mindsets and it’s hard to get out. Not because I don’t want to or I’m afraid of change, but because I feel so useless and incapable. Nor do I trust people, but I don’t even know how to begin to trust.

Sometimes it’s hard to reach out to others when you’re struggling. Maybe spending some time with him would be a good distraction at least

[Snowie]

Thats understandable @creative_writer I find it hard to trust others too. I think our past trauma has a lot to do with it also.

You are certainly not the problem hon regardless of what someone has said to you. I will admit that it is hard to see the goodness in us when others have said we are the problem. Hard to not believe it.

Progress is progress. However small it is, you are still moving in the right direction.

Hubby with just prolong it. No point.

[creative_writer]

@Snowie a part of me wonders whether I’m crazy, selfish, stupid and manipulative and I deserve to be treated like shit.

@Snowie is there any self care activity you can do with H?