I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and major depression for 6 years due to my childhood trauma.
My life's been lots of ups and downs.
Recently, I have been struggling with trusting others.
I have a couple of nice friends, but I doubt if they care about me or not. I hate myself for doubting my friends, but I just cannot trust anyone fully.
I feel scared that they might stop being my friends. I feel scared that they might be talking and laughing behind me.
I have lost some friends because of that. Some of my ex-friends actually dismissed my mental health and just labelled me as "too sensitive".
Trust is a big thing that a lot of people have trouble with. I know I do. And in a way, I feel it is natural to do what you can to protect yourself. That's how we were made.
What I do find though is that just say, someone says something, then you feel low about it, then you feel you can't trust them, which further makes the distrust grow so that it becomes, "I don't trust anybody".
What I've found is that curiosity sometimes helps us move towards the distrust so as to better understand the issue and see the issue can be separate from the person.
Blah.. I don't even feel I'm making sense! @Bear00 Sorry!
i too suffer from social anxiety. I have realised that I can build my communication and trust issues by joining groups such as writers, yoga, swimming etc where I meet with people who share an interest with me but I can also have boundaries with around disclosure of complex mental health - I have bipolar with an axis of borderline personality disorder. I also avoid conflict and don’t suit close friends who aren’t emotionally able to connect with me.
yes I have let lots of friendships come and go but I do believe in people coming into my life for a reason and when it’s time to let go I can do that.
That's a great question @Bear00 , how to learn to trust people again.
For me, it was a leap of faith. I was still able to trust my mum (she wasnt able to protect me, because she wasnt aware at the time. But her intent would have been to protect me, and when she was aware she was very supportive of me), so I could also put some slow trust in people she had conplete trust in were safe to talk to.
So I learnt to trust a respected empathic-supportive person in our community as someone to talk to about some of my feelings (starting slowly with smaller things, and slowly opening up). I grew to see her genuine and consistent care and response, and although I could never understand why she was interested to help me* I learned that it was her choice to and I could learn to accept it even if I didnt feel worthy of it. As I got to know and trust her completely, she also introduced me to her husband who she trusted completely (and was also known as a very supportive and caring person in the community). Knowing him and learning to trust him was very hard, but also so powerful. He proved to me that not all males were as I believed them to be - he was my proof. And if he could be safe, then maybe others could be too - i just needed to assess each person individually.
I dont immediately trust anyone. But I have learned to trust my ability to assess people better and slowly get to know people to determine who I feel safe with and are trustworthy.
Similar to what @tyme said I too have trouble with trusting others. Me being me i try to analyse and ask if that lack of trust is because of the past where others have hurt me or am I lacking trust specifically in that person for something they have done? Maybe it would help you to ponder why it is you don't trust your friends maybe write it out and see if there's any patterns. I know for me I generally don't trust people and have very few friends and still keep an arms length. For me my mum is my best friend and I suppose over many years I have learnt to trust her and I didn't respect her for many years. Anyway I hope what I wrote helps in some way.
For me, I struggle trusting my friends because of trauma from my parents.
I think my brain feels danger in intimacy because of what happened to me from my close ones.
I have tried to understand reasons behind my behaviours. Sometimes it’s so frustrating that I even struggle to trust my bestie and I hate myself for being like that. I struggle to forgive myself for not trusting others too.
