struggling

[Eden1919]

i am not managing anything at the moment there are so many things i need to do but i am not able to do any of them and i just want to cry heck i am not even managing to shower or brush my teeth i cant feed myself properly i am not managing at all but there is no real reason for this all i am supposed to be starting back at uni again and i am not sure i will cope. i just wish i could manage to do even basic things for myself. all i want to do is sleep and cry and i think part of this is because of the meds but no one will believe me if i say that to them. but this is what they did before that last time i was on these meds. ugh i dont know what to do. 

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Eden1919,

I really sorry to read you are struggling at the moment. It sounds like things are really hard for you. Are you able to reach out to your professional team / your GP to let them know how you are coping? I think it might be good if you speak to a professional in the next day or two.

Can you speak to the doctor that prescribed the medication you are currently taking and let them know this is how you felt last time you took this medication? 

Is someone home with you at the moment? I think it would be good if someone was with you while you are feeling this way.

Warm wishes,

FloaitngFeather

[Eden1919]

@FloatingFeather  i have an appointment with the psychiatrist on friday and i have a support worker coming soon ish for 2 hours but even with the support worker i am not managing idk everything is just too much right now. but with the psych i doubt they will change my meds they just say that "it shouldnt do that" but it does and they dont listen and i am on a treatment order so i cant refuse. i just dont know what to do anymore and i am so tired i just want to sleep but i already slept for 12 hours today but it is never enough. idk what to do i really dont. 

[amber22]

Hey there @Eden1919 

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way at the moment, but please know that it is totally okay to be feeling this way for a while too. Sometimes it is really difficult to do the things that we once naturally had energy for, and that's okay. Try to do what you can and only what you feel you are capable of doing, and try not to push yourself or make yourself feel bad for not achieving things that you are usually able to. When we are going through a tough time mentally, it's really important to be kind to ourselves and treat ourselves how we would treat a friend or family member that we love when they are feeling down. 

Are you currently at home? Do you have any support systems around you at the moment that you could explain how you're feeling to? It can be intimidating and take a lot of courage to admit that we may be struggling at the moment, but it can also be really beneficial for others around us because they then know why we might need a bit of a hand to hand, or some extra help doing simple tasks that we wouldn't usually need them for. 

Sending you lots of virtual hugs,

Amber22

[Dimity]

Oh @Eden1919 I do feel for you. I remember being on one of the bad old meds after my first psychotic break. Please continue speaking your truth to your psychiatrist and gp, there must be better meds than the depot you're on. 

Sending you love and support - and some quanta of virtual energy to get you over the hump of self care. 

Best wishes 

Dimity

[Jynx]

Agree very much with @Dimity about speaking your truth, @Eden1919. If the negatives are currently outweighing the positives, I hope you can discuss it in a way that truly shows how much of an impact it is having on you, and that this is heard. I'm sorry to hear that it is such a struggle to have your needs met with this situation. Big hugs 💜

[Eden1919]

thanks everyone, my psych appointment got moved to next week. i am still really struggling with everything and idk what to do anymore i am trying everything i can but nothing is working and i cant seem to function at all everything is a huge mess and i just want to cry all the time i am sleeping way too much and not showering and not eating properly or drinking enough and i need to sort out uni stuff but i am just not managing and everything is just way too much i cancelled my support worker tonight because i couldnt handle having someone over and just needed to curl up and cry. i realy dont know what to do i am completely lost and nothing is working and for a few hours the other night i became very suddenly overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts luckily nothing happened but it was rough. i mean they are not so intense now but yeah it was weird anyway i am struggling a lot atm. 

[Dimity]

Hugs @Eden1919 sometimes when we can't face seeing people is when we need them the most. Are you staying in touch with someone?

[Eden1919]

@Dimity  I have spoken to a couple of friends and some family but not about what is going on. 

i finally managed to shower so that is good but everything else still hasnt been done. i am still really struggling and not coping very well at all but i am doing everything i can i just ugh idk it is all a lot. 

[Dimity]

@Eden1919 I'm sorry you're not able to share how you're feeling with people close to you. All the more reason to keep reaching out here. And to persevere with your support worker.

I hope your studies are interesting and provide some respite and distraction from your day to day struggles. 

I don't have any answers but I hope things get easier for you.