Lived Experience Forum

[kristin]

Dear all,

This report is now available on the website. It makes interesting reading, and makes some excellent points. I was one of the participants. I hope what's in it might also be of help to others.

Kind regards,

Kristin

[Ngunjima]

Thanks for that Kristin.

I have a lived experience of Suicide attempts and Self Harm. I now work in the Mental Health Sector as a Peer Worker.

What  I have noticed in my Suicidality is that it I am significantly more suicidal and likely to self harm when  I am on antidepressants than when I am not. When I come off these medications, the suicidality drops, even though anxiety and other symptoms can return.

There is quite a bit of evidence to suggest that Antidepressants can cause suicidality in some people.  they can also decrease it in others, such is the complex nature of psychiatric medication.

From my own experience there seems to be less awareness by doctors of the potential risks of medication.

[kristin]

Hi @Ngunjima 

Welcome to the forums! Thanks for joining in the conversation, I'm sure some of the others ( @Rick @Alessandra1992 @kato @Loopy @peace @Ellie ) will also make you welcome when they get this.

Good for you doing peer work - it's an excellent & valuable thing to do when one has lived experience. I'm sorry to hear that meds increased your suicidality, but I'm not surprised. I think I may have heard that before, but you are right it is not a well known side-effect. It is very sad (and sometimes dangerous) that many medical professionals are not aware of the potential side-effects of what they prescribe. Medication is certainly not the one-size-fits-all which the pharma companies seem to peddle (and some doctors swallow).

I also have to avoid meds as they make me unwell (or do nothing at all) in other ways. Last lot gave me excruciating migraines and high blood pressure - when I asked the GP (mine was on holidays) she "oh no it's not the meds" and prescribed something for the high (ususally on the low side of normal) blood pressure, but it was. Getting off them was hell - I ended up pill-chopping to an extreme degree before I could stop altogether and even then I suffered through about 6 weeks or so of excruciating migraines.

So how do you manage the anxiety etc?

Kindest regards,

Kristin

[Ngunjima]

Good Question.

I try to do a lot of physical exercise, yoga and meditation and that helps. Also been seeing a really good psychologist. Working on self worth etc.

Mindfulness is a great tool for building up tollerance to extreme emotions. I still have a long way to go. It is always possible that if things get too bad I will go back on meds.

[Rick]

@Ngjunjima 

Hi Ngjunjimalike 

It is true that some ani depressants can have an effect like suicidality, this is a known side effect and is more often than not a temporary one. This is the reason I advocate so strongly for more hospital beds. There are many dangers that accompany new meds, and it is unrealistic that people taking these medications should have to do so without proper clinical supports.

Also if these side effects are typical for a person then there are other options that have been proved to be effectoe for many, such as anti convulsants and some anti psychotics. 

To rely on G.p.s though is to stretch their abilities and knowledge to breaking point. I often recommned engaging a psychiatrist if only for medication reviews and advice. 

Unfortunately many doctors only are aware of the info given thru Pharma reps. This is hardly holistic.

Fortunately with internet access being so wide spread it is possible for people to find out for themselves the issues regarding any drugs they are taking. And of course the pharmicist themselves are very knowledgeable regarding side effects and interaction issues.

[kato]

@Ngunjima 

Hi and welcome to the forums,

I have always sort of stayed away from this subject, due to it's nature etc, i have for lack of a better word, suffered the thoughts associated with "S" daily, sometimes more then once, i only have my own thoughts and processes to work through and not go further, alot of my Dr's don't understand how i work through, it because i can't explain the processes i go through when i have those thoughts, it also for me doesn't change if i am taking meds or not, for alot of years now i have always just had them..... I do however have a pretty decent G.P who has a background in psychiatric care in wards, and explains to me more then just the brochure effects of a med that we might be looking at trying, and then after she has covered it, it is then my call if we use that particular one, also it is my call if i am to increase my dosage, as she is aware, i am a pretty good judge of my own thoughts, feelings, etc.....

I know a lot of g.p's don't cover that sort of thing, but i have been lucky, sometimes i find also if i ask for more specifics on a certain medication, other g.p's have also been helpful, but sometimes you do need to prod them to come to the party so to speak.

not too sure if this helps

[Ngunjima]

Thanks for sharing that Kato,

Its good that you have found a way of processing the thoughts, I'd be interested in knowing more about your methods if you felt like sharing or feel capable of explaining it.

I have a pretty good doctor at the moment. I think the reality is that psychiatry is a very difficult field and involves a lot of trial and error. It is essential from a recovery perpective that the patient is in the driving seat. I always doctors as consultants who can offer knowledge but not as someone that must be obeyed!

[kato]

@Ngunjima 

Hi Ngunjima,

ok so i have been trying to figure out the best way to respond, on how i deal with my thoughts of "s"

I don't know if this will make sense, or if i am able to put into words what or how i do manage the thoughts, i tend to self talk mainly, i question why am i feeling this way, why am i having the thought, and i just keep thinking through each thought, then to counter the thoughts, i remind myself, of what i have, who i have, even if i feel i have no-one, i remember friends, family, the people who i know who support me, and how it would affect them, then i also remind myslef how selfish i am being, and that i deserve more with my life, i am stronger then this, and i will make it through this.

i don't well i haven't yet covered much of it with my psychologist or psychiatrist, as when they ask me, "do you have "s" thoughts", my response is yes, they always ask this next "would you act on these thoughts" my response is automatic, no i don't think so, then they ask why? and i tell them because i am not stupid - sorry if that offends anyone,

i have however been really struggling with my thoughts, part of the reason i have taken a little bit to respond, i know i am smarter then doing it, but i struggle, really really hard with the thoughts some days, and those bleak days are the hardest ones to overcome.

So i come on here, i read through peoples posts, i go to links they have shared, or i vent my own stuff, usually i omit the thoughts of "s"

Unfortunately i don't have the answer to stopping the thoughts, but i hope this helps

Thank you

[Ngunjima]

Thanks for sharing that Kato,

I think the question "Why am I feeling this way?" is the right one to ask. It moves ut towards understanding.

I don't think anyone considers suicide without having a reason for it. Getting to the bottom of why Life doesn't seem worth living is vital.

"How do I build a life worth Living?" Is the next important question.

Unfortunately there isn't a simple answer for this. It is deeply personal. It involves bringing back meaning into life through our connetions to others, to the world, to our authentic selves.

Negative motivation helps us to avoid acting on suicidal urges. In the past I have often thought of my family and how much pain I would cause them. While this helps us in the moment, I think that it is better to find positive motivation. Live because being a live is an atractive option to us!

Keep searching and keep growing. Don't give up trying to understand yourself.