I hear you when you say that you are speaking too much time on your computer. Since I found this forum I have been glued to either my phone or computer. I am also neglecting other important tasks such as housekeeping. I don't prefer to do housework as it gives me anxiety so anything that distracts me from what needs doing is a good excuse. I took part in topic Tuesday on physical activity and mental health this past Tuesday and I have decided to try and fit 30 minutes of walking in each day. I seem to recall you saying you use a cane for walking? Perhaps that is the reason you are not choosing to do much if it??? But if you are actually physically loosing the ability to walk I would encourage you to use it before you lose it completely. Sounds like you know what you 'should' be doing. i.e. riding your bike, walking, cleaning and most importantly walking your best friend the dog. I am going to answer you in a few posts as I am on my phone and don't want to encounter the dreeaded error message.
The doctor is a million miles from you... oh my gosh a long drive. I guess that does give you quite a lot of thinking time. I agree with you you have to be very careful of self talk. Oh and I just remembered what I was going to say last post when I said that you know what you 'should' be doing. I put it in the inverted commas because you have to be careful about should'ing and must'ing too as that is an example of black and white thinking which in itself is maladaptive. I wish you wouldn't have said that you have a "thick head" but at least you picked up on it and pulled yourself up. You really are quite self aware so I think that the counseling you are receiving is helping you. The CBT books that you mentioned sound interesting. I have the same problem as you with the self abuse which was started by someone else. In your case your father but in mine it was my mother. She was very narcissistic so nothing was ever her fault instead she laid everything at my door. She was also emotionally abusive and I got physically slapped by her a lot. I was a really good kid and when I think about how much attitude my daughter gives me I think my Mother would have slapped her well into next week. She is lucky she doesn't have my mother as her mother i guess lol.
It's interesting you mentioned schema therapy as I have an interest in it. I did a test with my psychologist and my schema's are all out of whack. I have watched a few YouTube videos starring a clinical psychologist called Jess O'Garr which I have found very informative in understanding the theory involved in schema therapy. https://youtu.be/Ygq_Pz8GEyY
Thankyou for providing me the backround of schema therapy as I found that quite interesting.
I love that you are involved in positive things involving your community. I read elsewhere that you went and sang at the aged care home today and you mentioned the repair works needed in your community by a builder. It's a good idea to try and get a quote as a collective rather than one at a time. Maybe the builder can come quote then plan to come stay in your town for as many days as the work may take thus making it more profitable for them. I wish you luck in this venture. I really hope that you do keep trying to find your inner child for our writing thread even though you don't find this easy or natural. In time I think you will improve at it. You seem to me to be the kind of fellow that enjoys reading and researching and there is nothing wrong with that. It seems that you skipped your childhood from the age of 5 and for that I am truly sorry. Henry Rush just needs to find his silly side and not feel too embarrassed or uncomfortable letting it out in public. Just remember there is no wrong or right in playing. That's what we are asking you to do. Just to he playful.
Thank you so much for your responses to my post on circumstances, therapy and background. I thought, since we had discussed similar issues before, that you would very likely understand where I was coming from, both literally and figuratively. Your response has indicated that you do.
I certainly don't want to impose on you or anyone else. We are all here for similar reasons (stating the obvious), some circumstances are more alike than others. My wish, because of similarities was to talk with you about me and my situation (unashamedly) and also to share the information about the types of therapy, and what each of those encompassed in brief.
Likewise, I am aware that your experience with your mother seems very similar to mine with my father. So I am also hearing your situation and experience as well.
The time on the forum, and computer in general, seems to be an escape for both of us in some ways. A useful escape, but also a distraction from other things internally, and sometimes, in our environment, family and socially. I think that it is a matter of prioritising and apportioning time, in realistic ways, to achieve our goals
I have just yesterday, made use of you-tube on the phone, to which I will also have to be cautious about self-limiting my access.
You are correct in the walking aspect. I use two staves for walking any distance. These help me to maintain balance and walk with a more upright gait than I would with one. So, really any walking is difficult. However, I cannot allow that to be a reason for not doing so, for the reasons we have discussed. It is too easy to let something go, and even now I am becoming aware of the possible difficulty in recovering, if I let it go any further.
My aim now is to allocate specific times for various activities, both sedentary and active, so that I balance the time that I devote to each activity. And giving Kirra, my dog, more enjoyment in exercise is also a motive – part of her training as well, and maybe mine too. Yesterday, I bought a harness for her which I hope will be more comfortable than a lead on the collar. In writing this down, to share with you, I am making a commitment to doing so.
I am pleased that the information regarding the Schema therapy was of interest to you. I will check out Jess O'Garr's videos also. Just looking at the way that Jess conveys the information – short preview – seems clear and pleasantly presented.
Thursday morning's singing is at the residential aged care centre where Mum was for the last 3 years. It took me more than 18 months before I could feel comfortable returning there. I am ok now, and feel that I am welcomed by residents, most of whom I know to some degree, and staff. Also the other members of the singing group indicate that they miss my presence if I am not able to attend.
I do understand your observation about my “Henry Rush” side and will endeavour to find and develop that element of my character. I had initially written “work at finding...” but that sounded as if it would be more effort and not be fun anyway, thereby defeating the goal.
This afternoon I spoke with the departmental reps about the idea of a “collective quote”. They said that they would pass it up their line and I made the same approach to the shire office. It will need to be put in writing to both entities, which I will do. So, we shall see what happens.
Thank you again for your responses Meggle and very much appreciate your thoughts and ideas.
Having just read your post I wonder if making out a time management schedule would help you. One like I used to have when at University. Basically you put everything on it and it can be colour coded. This might help you to achieve more balance in your life. I definitely would like to encourage you to get walking despite the difficulties. I think it won't take too long for you to notice a difference. It is interesting to me that although we are a good 20 years apart in age that we share so many similarities. This posted accidentally - be right back
Your willingness to pursue counseling has helped me to make the decision to pursue the trauma therapy side of things that I need. So you can feel good about that. Your experience has made a difference to me. I spoke to the clinic yesterday and they said that the psychologist will be phoning me to make an appointment in the next week or two. I have watched a lot of Jess O'Garr's YouTube's but not all of them. She is a very pleasant presenter and easy to understand. She breaks the concepts down but not so much as to make you feel like she is talking down to you. It has made some things that my psychologist has previously worked on me with make more sense. I too enjoy researching and getting a full understanding of a particular topic especially if it interests me or relates to me in some way. I am particularly intelligent (sorry if that sounds up myself) and enjoy studying. I would have finished a Nursing degree some years ago had it not been for my illness. I completed the first year as a double degree and got a number of distinctions and high distinctions. I wish I could study now but hubby is unemployed so can't even attempt another try. I applied for UWA and was accepted last year but then hubby was made redundant so I deferred for a year. I was supposed to accept the offer for this semester starting 19th July so I am kinda down in the mouth about that at the moment. I have been putting off sending them an official email declining the offer so they keep sending me emails asking if I am ready to accept the offer which is making matters worse. Sorry I can't remember what else you addressed in your post I will go back and read it again....
Ah the singing- I am glad that you have an activity that you enjoy that gets you out of the house and helps you to be a little bit socially active. It's really nice that you still have that connection to your Mother. Even though she is no longer there it gives you the opportunity to still be around others and members of staff that you would have been familiar with whilst she was here with you. I am not surprised it took you so long to go back but good on you for doing so.
I don't want you to feel bad about so called 'imposing' on me. I very much enjoy our conversations and consider you a friend of mine. I know we haven't known each other that long but despite that I do feel like I know you quite well. I recognise a lot of myself in you if that makes any sense at all. I value our friendship and you help me to not feel so lonely. Thank you for your thoughtful responses. Sometimes I feel inadequate because I don't have enough to say in comparison to your posts but I think I have made up for that today.
