Sorry to hear that you have been struggling @EternalFlower , also I hope that you get your phone back soon. I hope that things improve for you soon. It’s great news that you have found a therapist. The Mindy Project sounds like a bit of fun.
Slept all day just Slept 4 more hours @EternalFlower think am sick. Just head cold. Had visitor over weekend w cough that got worse. Turns out they have pneumonia. I should go to drs. Hope you get phone back. Got table now. Got microwave airfryer, insulation in ceiling. Some bamboo blinds. Sparky doing ceiling fans in few weeks.
Huge pine trees in back yard going. 1 gone today. Just need to put couple window aircons in and get a tub to soak in for summer
Feeling suicidal is so hard. It comes and goes for me, and a lot of the time I am used to it, but sometimes I get perilously close ....
I think it is great you are watching a comedy about doctors. It might also put into perspective ... that they are human too and do not have all the answers. I watched an interesting Aussie show about mental health hospital set on outskirts of Sydney/ Blue Mountains. It had some interesting doctors ???
Linking in with the services is important when you have been so vulnerable and without family support, but they can only do so much. It is a balancing act in trust and giving away personal power and then reclaiming it again with agency to create a path for yourself.
My new support co-ordinator come out this week and I took her to my guerilla garden. We have a lot in common and I felt immediately much better with her than I did with the previous one. It is horses for courses and choice and control. Of course we have to the best we can with what comes our way, but YOU matter.
Ive been preparing to move house which has been a bit stressful, and also feeling at times really really low. I am low key suicidal and keep thinking not much to live for
I keep going and manage the next day. The NDIS is too hard for me to deal with now. I cannot find a good support coordinator so I am taking a break from looking. I have two support workers, I like them but one I feel is maybe not as reliable as I hope. She cancelled once because she got a catering job and she wanted to do that. More money. It is hurtful. It is cadsul work but it is hard emotionally like a 🎢🎢 (rollercoaster) because I feel I expect them and depend on them and then get let down. So I kinda need to protect my heart.
Reliability is important but hard with the NDIS. I hate being the boss and hiring and firing people and the awkward element of it where u feel like they don't care they are just trying to make money off u
It is our lives.
It is our recovery.
It really matters.
I don't know about these suicidal thoughts they keep chasing me. I am scared. It is many lawyers of things on top of each other.
I have called the helplines including a new one, the Blue Knot Foundation. I didn't benefit too much.
I am working a few hours a week as a Peer Support Worker which is nice. I thought I could maybe do support coordination myself 💡💡.
I think I am not too bad at finding resources and good people and I wander if I could do it as a job. Maybe, maybe not.
Dealing with those pesky thoughts seems to come and go for me, but some people say they can completely get rid of them.
Hearing you about the weirdness of hiring and firing ... when it is about health and deep personal stuff. Yes protect your heart. Slowly I am learning to protect mine.
Tbh I am over the moon you have some padi work as peer worker.
I am an old mare, and have done a lot of paid and unpaid work. To me I do my best regardless. Professional, clerical and manual, all sorts.
I have a hunch you would be great working in the MH field.
Good luck with moving house. Can be a nuisance but also a new start and new opportunities.
From my experience I find the mental health system significantly lacking. GPs, in particular the newer ones often undertake very little training in mental health. I had one that did not have a single contact that he could refer me to. In the end I started learning about options for myself and several years on I am still trying to piece things together.
Please know that I hear you!!!
Life can take you to dark places. I often wondered whether I would feel or see any light again. But there is light and everyone's path to find it is different. However I am happy to share any of my experiences or techniques, or just be a person who will listen and really hear your story.
