Lived Experience Forum

[humarni]

Hello Sanies, I was ambivalent for some time about joining the forum but I feel it is a great space to get support and support others. For 32 years I have battled anxiety, loneliness and depression and just recently discovered that this likely stems from significant complex trauma. I previously worked in the mental health space which in itself brought its own challenges. Staying silent has meant that I have repressed and internalised my experiences and carried the weight of mental health issues on my shoulders. This has unfortunately led to physical health issues as my body is no longer able to cope with my unresolved trauma, guilt, agitation, nervousness, suicidal thoughts and self-doubt. Unfortunately I do not have many friends or family around me which has led to the years of silence and the act of putting on a fake facade. I love life and want to enjoy every moment of it which has led me on the path of self-development.

I look forward to engaging with everybody. My opening question is to those well down the path of self-development. How do you overcome the initial hurdles of working to address mental health issues and trauma? I have oscillations of strong motivation and happiness that things will get better, but moments of despair that things will never improve. I feel that this is due to 32 years of emotions being bottled up, however I am keen to hear your thoughts.

Christianity has been a great pillar for support for me. I see that religion be it Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Taoism etc. can bring hope to people. I would like to leave you all this lovely quote from the Bible to help motivate you in times of need:

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

[tyme]

Heya @humarni ,

Welcome to the forums and taking this leap of faith! 

I recognise that recovery is not straight forward and is different for everybody. I’m glad you can lay hold on your faith. That’s so important.

For me, I sort of hit rock bottom

before I sought help. Being such an independent person, I had to try what I could before I eventually surrendered and said that I couldn’t do it on my own.

Thank god I had a system set up to support me. 

What supports do you currently have?

[humarni]

Hello @tyme, thank you for welcoming me. I have a psychotherapist and chronic pain specialist. I am considering also seeing a psychologist however I am not sure whether too much support is a good or bad thing. My relationship with psychologists in the past has unfortunately been soured by poor interactions with them. However I am willing to give it a go. My mother has also recently been a pillar of support ever since she realised how bad I had become mentally. I have a priest I speak with, however I haven't divulged too much information, something which I will have to change as I can't get support unless I open up.

What sort of support have you found helpful?

[Zoe7]

Hey @humarni I am well along that road of recovery but spent several years at rock bottom. To be honest - it was the support from my team (GP, psychologist and psychiatrist) as well as the members and staff here at SANE that kept me alive and continued to hold me up when I felt no hope or way forward. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful team around me (which has changed over time also). My GP has not changed and she has gone above and beyond to support me. I know I am very lucky to have had that but without her I doubt I would still be here (alive). I believe finding that one person (or people) who can walk the whole way with you makes a difference. For those of us who have been down that dark hole (sometimes more than once), having someone you trust is massive. Connecting with others in the same/similar position and being able to share experiences also helps. As @tyme has said - recovery is not linear - I too had many dips, falls and the occasional peak - but having people around me to recognise and support me in all those times was invaluable. Learning your own patterns of thought - the when, why and how of it all - comes with time and practice - as does the best ways to get through them all ...and along the way I began to find more moments in the day that brought even a little joy and recognise that life isn't always a bed of roses but one rose in the day is still beautiful.

[NatureLover]

Welcome, @humarni 

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@humarni wrote:

Staying silent has meant that I have repressed and internalised my experiences and carried the weight of mental health issues on my shoulders.

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My psychologist asked me 2 months ago to try Stream of Consciousness Writing. It has really helped me, so I am mentioning it here for you, as you asked what can get you moving. The Stream of Consciousness Writing is just writing down whatever comes into your head, even things like "I'm hungry". It has shown me what's bothering me and helped me to work out solutions. I do it for half an hour a day and it's really easy. 

Good luck on your journey...