Lived Experience Forum

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Exhausted-mum ,

Daycare and preschool age may be a bit young for sleepovers. Whatever it is, even 1-2 hrs respite while they are at daycare/preschool can make a difference.

Perhaps plan in self-care time while they are away so you make the most of that time? While it may be hard now, once they go to school full time, you'll miss them.

Main thing for now is to do things to support you. I would definitely take advantage of a mental health care plan to help you through this time. Post natal depression is a real thing, and needs specialised care.

Forcing myself for a daily walk helps lift me from my depression. I don't like going, but I definitely feel better after. While on my walk, I undertake mindfulness activities such as counting the number of shades of green I see, or naming the different sounds I hear. It helps take my mind off things that are stressful and challenging. I probably look strange to the outside world as I walk, but that's okay. It's "ME" time.

BPDSurvivor

[frog]

Hello and welcome @Exhausted-mum 

You're not alone! Anxiety adds such a difficult layer to an already hard job.

I fell into the trap of just trying harder and harder, but somethings are beyond our control.

I learned self care later in life. It's so important. Hoping you can find a way to eek out some time for yourself. Thinking of you.

Hi @Snowie @Anastasia @BPDSurvivor @StuF 

[Exhausted-mum]

@Bow I definitely feel the quilt as well but have slowly gotten better ! I work part time as well which makes it harder trying to juggle everything I’ve decided to ask for a day off work when kids are in care so I can just have un interrupted me time! I’m feeling a bit better that I have found this forum every one is lovely and helpful thank you

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Exhausted-mum and welcome to the forums .... 👋

It sounds a bit trite, but stopping for a cup of tea can make a big difference.  You have to slow your breathing to drink, especially if it's hot ..... the warm cup held between two hands is soothing, and take the time to smell and breathe in the scent as it rises from the cup.

You can also tell the kids, "Mummy needs a Time Out.  When I am drinking a cup of tea, it's no-talking time ..... because I am in a time out.  If I talk, the time out has to start again."  It's a good way to set a boundary, and demonstrate the rules of Time Out for when it is they who have been put into Time Out.  

It also demonstrates that Time Out is a circuit-breaker, not a punishment.

It might not work the first few times, but gently persevere - they will learn.

[Eve7]

Hello @Exhausted-mum  and welcome to the forum.

I have 2 sons and 5 grandchildren so I understand how exhausting it is being a mum. I also had post natal depressionafter my second child which made my early parenting experiences difficult.

You will find lots of supportive people here and I hope you meet lots of new friends.

💕💖💕

[Exhausted-mum]

@Faith-and-Hope  hi Faith thank you that's a good idea thank you for the suggestion im loving this forum as I wouldn't have thought to do these things to calm my self down. 
They do know when I have my morning coffee they need to give me space until I Finnish it as im not a morning person lol 

[Exhausted-mum]

Thank you @Eve7 😊 I am thankful I found this forum 💙

[Faith-and-Hope]

😊 I'm glad it has helped @Exhausted-mum ❣️