@Appleblossom Thanks for taking the time to respond and share your story. Your son sounds like he has lots going for him with social connections, uni etc - I'm jealous and happy for you and him but not in a mean way if that makes sense. I just want my son to experience the fullness of life and he's not going to find it living at hm 24/7 although he does now leave home 2 days a week to go to TAFE thank goodness.

E (our son) is very ritualistic with motor tasks and it has cost him with employment, you should see him making a goyza where his OCD kicks in....I guess I'm not always as patient as I should be. I try to encourage him with his cooking, writing and ask if he would like to be matched up with someone who could mentor him and give him feedback but he's not interested to date. He dropped out of school in Yr.11 -couldn't cope with the workload and had zero interest. His processing speed and working memory are 6th and 8th percentile respectively so no wonder he found school hard in Yr. 11. Having said that he is at least of average intelligence, rational and articulate with a great vocabulary achieved from being a huge reader as a child - how he got through school. I taught him to read and love reading (his behaviours at schools would have seen him struggle without this support from home as he spent much of his early years underneath the tables and he really struggled with emotional regulation making him very difficult to teach). He loves his cat - and he loves screens - watching movie after movie, especially fantasy and gaming - especially ones with a story and shooting games which I loathe. He also loves music - listening to it anything from epic instrumentals, often used in movies or games to heavy metal - an eclectic taste. He loves Asian food too, now after many many years of chicken nuggets and my lasagne so I bought him RecipeTinEats for Christmas and we are slowly making our way together through, cooking some of the foods that he enjoys and trying to build his confidence.He's laughing his head off now as happy as larry - gaming with an online friend.

I've petitioned my husband to teach him how to cut the grass (single turn) and he's done part of the lawn twice now and he's very good at it, just very slow and meticulous. We live on a small acerage now which has added to his isolation.

There's a pattern there with his slow motor coordination and ritualistic behaviours and no employee has patience for it so far so I guess I'm conscious of that and lack patience too and want to throw a firecracker under him to get him moving faster in everything he does. He has a tendency to self sabotage everything and has always struggled with perseverance.  Mean mumma I am.

I know we just have to accept our situation but I keep chipping away aiming for baby steps. I think it's my job as his mum to be ambitious for him- perhaps its just getting the tension right that is my roadblock with my lack of patience part of the obstacle.

I hope you and your family are having a good week. Thank you for taking the time to read my rather long post and responding in such a positive and empathetic manner.