Looking after ourselves
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07-06-2018 11:36 PM
07-06-2018 11:36 PM
How to manage self sabotage
I'm sure I'm not the only who thinks (though not consciously) 'oh wow I've had a good day, this isn't me, I need to destroy my day or trigger myself, why, because that's all I deserve'
On a more serious note, how do let's talk about how we can stop ourselves from self sabotaging our good times.
This is something I really need to learn.
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08-06-2018 08:42 AM
08-06-2018 08:42 AM
Re: How to manage self sabotage
At the moment when I feel like doing something self sabotaging I have been trying to check what I'm actually feeling.
Usually I don't really want to do the sabotage but it's to help me meet some other need that I am having, typically (for me) feeling lonely/angry/sad/not good enough. Then, once I know the problem a bit better, I can find something to do to address the problem in a less sabotagey way. Meet the need rather than mask it, if you get my drift.
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09-07-2018 01:28 PM - edited 09-07-2018 02:06 PM
09-07-2018 01:28 PM - edited 09-07-2018 02:06 PM
Re: How to manage self sabotage
Hi @The-red-centaur - what a great topic! The tricky part about self sabotage is often we don't recongise it in ourselves when it's happening. I like your approach @TheVorticon - understanding the function of self sabotage and addressing the underlying cause rather than getting caught up in unhelpful coping skills.
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09-07-2018 01:48 PM - edited 09-07-2018 01:57 PM
09-07-2018 01:48 PM - edited 09-07-2018 01:57 PM
Re: How to manage self sabotage
Me too with this topic. Have done it today 😔
i don’t know why I have today. For me I know it’s not about not deserving it. I think it’s more a fear of the crash that will come after or being too high and therefore impulsive and then fearful of inadvertently destroying something or someone.
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09-07-2018 02:13 PM
09-07-2018 02:13 PM
Re: How to manage self sabotage
Today sounds so difficult @Teej. Sometimes, no matter how self aware we are, we find ourselves getting caught up in old ways of doing things. You've done well to notice it and to reach out for support. What have you found helpful in bouncing back from self sabotage?
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09-07-2018 02:35 PM
09-07-2018 02:35 PM
Re: How to manage self sabotage
I was reading about a quiz re 30 types of self sabotage.
There were good things about it, but the presenters also, mentioned the "ick" factor as a determining characteristic ... so that for me was a BIG FAIL. They sabotaged themselves with me, but it was only me, probably heaps will buy the book. We need an eye roll emoticon on the forum. Please.
Take Care All
@The-red-centaur @Teej @TheVorticon @Margot
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09-07-2018 05:45 PM
09-07-2018 05:45 PM
Re: How to manage self sabotage
Was this an online quiz or something different?
I'm not sure what you mean by "ick" factor - can you explain that further or provide a link?
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09-07-2018 06:01 PM
09-07-2018 06:01 PM
Re: How to manage self sabotage
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09-07-2018 09:04 PM
09-07-2018 09:04 PM
Re: How to manage self sabotage
@TheVorticon you put your finger on it ... an ick factor is not a very objective factor.
So it peeved me ... but you guyz can have link.
I have been aware of self sabotage at the time it happens for a long time, but could not stop it ... so its been a concern for me for a very long time ...I self sabotage much less now ... so things have improved. I might do the quiz .. when I have time.
Good my link thing worked this time
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14-07-2018 11:11 AM
14-07-2018 11:11 AM