Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

Lived Experience Australia message below:

We’re conscious that there is a lot of messaging and media this week about the very sad events at Bondi Junction in Sydney. Hence, this email is not a ‘media release’ or an eNews. It is simply our family at Lived Experience Australia wanting to connect with you to share some kindness, compassion and support to everyone who lives with mental ill-health and their families. Just like me and my family.

We recognise that these events can create a negative dialogue about mental ill-health within the community; one that looks for immediate answers to what you and all of us at LEA know don’t have simple answers. They are more layered and involve several points over time where systems and circumstances could and should have been different and better. People are not defined by their mental health or ill-health. There are some things we may never know regarding what led to this tragic event.

So much of the dialogue and support messaging of the last few days has focused on distress and crisis options and encouraging people to ‘feel safe’. Whilst these things are important and understandable, we know that this can also inadvertently reinforce negative stereotypes that are less than helpful. As a very wise friend reminded me this morning, none of these are de-escalating responses, and they may well reinforce stigmatising views.

There is always more that governments and those who deliver mental health services and supports can do. There is also more that every person in the community can do to learn more about mental health, be more tolerant, build more humane connections with others, support each other, and address stigma when you see it.

It’s important to us at LEA that we use language that does not further stigmatise complex mental illness and the families, carers, and kin that support individuals who are experiencing this. It is also vitally important that we continue to advocate for improved supports so individuals do not fall through the gaps and are able to access the care and support they need. 

Our thoughts are with each person that has been affected by these events whether directly or indirectly. If you are finding things upsetting or distressing we firstly encourage you to consider actions that support your wellbeing.

Find the things that - in your experience - have brought you comfort, care or support in the past. It may be as simple as connecting with someone who knows you well enough to realise how distressing this situation could be for you. Catch up with a friend. Speak with your mental health professional/s if that is something that works for you. Maybe take a walk out in nature if that brings you comfort. Turn off the TV (and other devices) that include content that doesn’t lift your spirits.

If you are feeling particularly overwhelmed, and your normal supports aren’t helping, we have included a number of support line options below this letter. We encourage you to contact them if you or a loved one is experiencing distress.

Please know that we will continue to advocate for mental health care that is appropriate, adequate and affordable for all Australians. We will work hard to destigmatise mental ill-health, and educate our communities towards compassion and understanding.

But right now in this moment, we want you to know that we see you and care about you.

Please take care - of yourself, and those you love.

[Gwynn]

How would you go about supporting someone who knew one of the victims? What could you say or do?

[Jynx]

Hard to say @Gwynn because support can look different for everyone. Sometimes we have no idea what we can do - but we can still just say 'Hey, I don't know what I can say or do that will make you feel any better, but please know I am here for you.' That can, in itself mean the world to someone. 

[Zoe7]

Hey @Gwynn Just be there for this person, let them know you care and be led by them. If they want to talk then you are there to listen, if they want to cry then hold their hand (if that is okay with them). There are certainly no hard and fast rules when dealing with grief - and add trauma into the mix, that makes it a bit harder. Just being yourself will no doubt be enough.

[mouse1]

Hello, Ive just signed up to the forum because I needed a safe place to bring up how I'm feeling about the terrible attacks on people at Bondi.

My son has a schizophrenia diagnosis and has had seriously challenging behaviour in the past but is now thankfully on medication and in care.

When he had psychotic episodes it was plain for me to see that he was hallucinating and delusional which was quite frightening, but what scared me more was other people and their reaction s to my son's behaviour.

I was frightened that he would be attacked in retaliation or fear or shot by police. This anxiety I have rationalised over the years and pretty much dealt with but the news of those attacks brought those fears to the surface.

When I'm with my son I cant help but feel that we need to isolate from the community to be safe. To keep my son safe when his behaviour is different.

[George_23]

Hi, I have just read your post, sending lots of support. You should never feel that way with your son, and I'm sorry you do.

[Jynx]

Hey @mouse1 - just letting you know I've moved your post over to this thread, where our community have been discussing the incident.

I'm so sorry that your son continues to face such stigma - many in our community have been deeply impacted by this incident. I think it's okay to isolate for a time so that you can both feel safe - though I wish you didn't have to of course. It's very undertandable that it has brought your fears back to the surface.

Do you have much in the way of mental health support for yourself? You could always give our support line a buzz if you wanted to chat to a counsellor about how you've been feeling. They're a very warm and supportive bunch - call 1800 187 263 (Mon-Fri, 10am-8pm). 

Your son is lucky to have you looking out for him 💜

[Jynx]

Hey @George_23 just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, and it will show up in blue, like this: @mouse1 

[Zoe7]

Hey @mouse1 It is a sad indictment on society and how much stigma and misunderstanding there is around MH and especially schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. It is even more difficult to get the help needed. We, here, are sitting with you and hoping by reaching out here you are able to get some peer support in what you are going through. No judgement whatsoever from this community - just compassion and care for both you and your son ❤️

[Funnelweb]

[Edited by moderator] My mental illness was a direct result of the conditions of society. We are not going to accept from society the message that we need to just put up and shut up about major injustices which are occurring continuously in society, which leads to mental health problems.