Lived Experience Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

She sounds caring so far @Crazy_Bug_Lady ..... obviously she has to gather information pretty quickly in the first appointments to work out where to work forward from .....

I’m so impressed you spoke up for yourself that way ..... great self-care in that moment, even though it was hard ...... 👍

[Appleblossom]

@Crazy_Bug_Lady 

It sounds good to me that you were able to answer some things in the session but tag areas that you were not ready for.  That is great management on your side.  I used to be an open book too much.  These days I give points to MH workers who actually stick up for me and are vocal and committed in seeing things from my point of view.  It has taken a long time to develop therapuetic relationships but it is worth it.  Its not so much what they ask, but how they manage the to and fro and keep YOU (the client's) needs in foreground.  If they respect your no go zones ... or not until later ... and still be firmly in your court.

Baby Steps . . this way and that ...

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Was having a decent day. Caught up on the new episodes of Doctor Who, and was actually feeling okay... 

Then I got a text from the social support lady saying I have a meeting tomorrow with her and the CMH lady tomorrow afternoon... 

So now I'm kinda freaked, I don't really know what's happening... Honestly, you'd think given these are people working in mental health they'd be aware of the anxiety they are causing by not explaining why...

Trying to calm and distract by doing some cord braiding. Trying a pattern I've not done before to really occupy my mind...

[Faith-and-Hope]

Wow @Crazy_Bug_Lady ..... that sort of thing rattles everyone .....

You are so right, especially dealing with mental health issues, that’s so rough .....

Great that you reached for the cord braiding.  Can we see it sometime ?  Only if you want to show us, of course.

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Solomon's Dragon BraidShark Jaw Bone Braid

Sorry for the bad photos, but this is what I've been working on today to try and keep my brain from complete panic. 

The bottom one is complete. It's called a Shark Jaw Bone paracord braid. The top one is the one I'm working on now, called a Solomon's Dragon paracord braid. I'm making this one with 2mm microcord, so it's a bit more fiddly. 

I don't really know what tomorrow's meeting is about... Are they planning to close my file? Am I getting transferred to my local MH network, or will I have to go without? Am I in trouble?? Did the support lady tell the CMH about my SH/not taking meds?? 

The appointment isn't till 1pm tomorrow... I'm gonna be a complete wreck by then...

[Zoe7]

Hi @Crazy_Bug_Lady Checking in to see how you are travelling and hoping that you are doing as okay as you can be 

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Thanks for checking in @Zoe7.

Things aren't the best... But I guess things are never gonna get better so I shoukd stop hoping they do... 

Both CMH and social support dropped me last week. I knew it was coming, but there wasn't a proper date or anything. The support worker was the worst I think, literally saw her, begged her to give me more notice than the CMH did. Then got a text from her an hour later with "I have to exit you from the program, wishing you the best". 

I've not been transferred to my local MH network as they believe I should be able to cope without it... I'm not coping. I'm not really living, I'm just sitting here at my parents house while everyone moves on. I'm barely able to leave the house due to anxiety. I only leave it for weekly GP or Psychologist appointments, and the one day a week I work at the farm. 

I'm just numb and empty atm. There's no emotions, no thoughts. I'm just an empty shell. 

Although this means I have no urges to SH or think of suicide. So that's good?? 

But I don't know if I be bothered to try and fight the thoughts when they return. 

((I am safe at this point in time))

[Zoe7]

Pleased to hear you are safe at this point @Crazy_Bug_Lady but definitely not happy for you with the departure of your support worker and exit from CMH. I hope your GP and psychologist help support you through all this. It seems very hard for you at the moment so lean on us here as much as you need Hon - listening and caring very much for the position you are in 

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Crazy_Bug_Lady .....