Welcome & getting started
03-03-2021 04:03 AM - edited 03-03-2021 04:09 AM
Hi i havent been on here for quite awhile havent had the time as 4 kids (one of them 17mths) have been keeping me busy. Anyway i battled a 2yr depressive with psychosis episode came well october 2020 and was discharged from mental health services. Now for the past month my mood has gone down hill really really fast and the psychosis is constant loud and fierce. I am beginning to not know what is real and what isnt. I am scared. Do i do what "he" says i need to do in order to protect my kids or is "he" still just a voice with no power, but i see a man standing and staring at me then he just vanishes. I think someone is out there trying to prove that i am a bad mum so that the kids will be taken from me and then "he" will do what he said he would do because i havent done what he wants me to do. Im not going into detail of this as it is very vivid and distressing and i dont want to trigger anyone else. I have tried contacting support helplines but dont prefer talking on phone so use the web chat however no counsellors are available and hasnt been for the past 5hrs. As it is its 3am i cant sleep "he" is so loud and very demanding and persistant hes got to be real right? How could a hallucination be that relentless? I really dont know what to do can i risk not believing he is real i dont want anything to happen to my kids. I have tried all my distraction and mindfulness techniques and they not working. Sorry for the long rant im just at a loss
03-03-2021 04:23 AM
Thank you for speaking on the forum about how you are feeling and what is going through your mind at the moment. Its highly distressing for you and I imagine, hard to put into words sometimes. There will be support and help for you today from some of the very empathic and experienced people on this forum.
Yes its not always easy to speak to phone help services but remember that what they are there for, so please contact them if you can. Lifeline 131114.
03-03-2021 04:31 AM
Thanks @NiteKat. Im going to go have another hot shower in hopes that third time is lucky and continue to listen to music to try drown him out. If it continues to not work in an hour i will telephone helplines. Thanks again
03-03-2021 07:17 AM
03-03-2021 10:19 AM
Hi Fern, feeling for you at this time. It can be frustrating when you are going through things in the middle of the night and needing help. I hope that the voice settles down and with daylight, the day will be better
Sending love and encouragement,roses 🌹
03-03-2021 10:37 AM
What you're going through sounds incredibly distressing. It would be difficult to sit with it at night when many services are unavailable. I wanted to take the opportunity to let you know that the counsellors in the SANE Help Centre are only available between 10am and 10pm which is why there was no one available at the time that you were trying to reach us. Do you have any other services that you know of that could be contacted during the early hours of the morning?
I hope you're doing okay today, please reach out to the Help Centre today if you need to.
Thinking of you,